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Psychology Synchronicity and ADCs

The Psychedelic, Psychotic, Psychic and Spiritual Visions of Kevin Williams

Non-ordinary states of consciousness can be best explained in context of a theory of consciousness described in the NDE documentary entitled Life After Death. A psychiatrist in the documentary, named Dr. Stanislav Grof, M.D., is one of the leading researchers in non-ordinary states of consciousness. In the documentary, he explains a theory of consciousness based on these non-ordinary states. His theory suggests consciousness may not even be localized in the skull. He theorizes how the brain may actually function as a “reducing valve” reducing the cosmic energy and input which continually bombards our skull much in the same way radio signals bombard a radio receiver. Using the same analogy. our consciousness may be a product of this reducing function much like a radio broadcast heard on the radio. When this reducing function is altered (through triggers such as psychedelics, psychosis, etc.) or even shut down completely (when producing an NDE), the cosmic input which once made up our consciousness is then free to expand. This expansion may explain the various types of non-ordinary states of consciousness.

Table of Contents

  1. My Psychedelic Experience With LSD
  2. My Christian Spiritual Experiences
    a. An Analogy Describing My Born Again Experience
    b. My Observations of Someone’s Religious Vision
    c. My Observations of a Group Religious Vision
  3. My Manic Depressive Psychotic Hallucinations
    a. Dr. George Ritchie’s NDE Observations of Earthbound Souls
    b. Howard Storm’s NDE of Experiencing Earthbound Souls
    c. My Analysis of Dr. George Ritchie and Howard Storm’s Earthbound Experiences
  4. My Pre-Birth Memory of My Mission From God
  5. My Past-Life Memory as My Grandmother’s Father

1. My Psychedelic Experience With LSD

My only experience with LSD occurred during the 70’s while in college. Although it was a very pleasurable experience for me, I can’t recommend that people try it because the quality of a psychedelic experience depends on personal and situational factors.

I ingested a half of a stamp of microdot that a friend gave me one night and spent the evening alone in my room listened to my favorite music. Before I took the acid, I was feeling very good anyway and had no problems on my mind. The acid multiplied these good feelings and made the music which I was listening to (The Eagles, Poco, James Taylor, etc.) virtually come alive. I was totally immersed into the music and experienced it in a way I never have before. I spent hours with my eyes closed fantasizing and being the music. It is just a completely different level of awareness and feeling.

In the 70’s, drugs were not an unusual thing to do. I also experimented with lesser mind-altering drugs such as pot, hash, speed and alcohol. I have had hallucinations while using these drugs as well. Although I am not really proud of the experimenting I did, my experience with mind-altering and hallucinogenic drugs turned out to be a blessing later in life when I had to begin learning to deal with psychotic hallucinations from the bipolar disorder mental illness I was born with and which manifested itself afterward.

There are many published studies of psychedelics and how they create temporary distortions of reality, alterations of body image, and disorientation as to time and place. An experience with a psychedelic generally convinces people that so-called reality is not the same for everyone and that it depends upon a person’s own perception and perspective (among other factors). This is also supported by such sources as quantum physics, Tibetan Buddhism, and near-death experiences (among other sources). When I left college, I left my experimentation with mind-altering drugs behind and I left with a better understanding of my own mind and reality. And before the 70’s were over, I had a new kind of visionary experience – of the religious kind.

2. My Christian Spiritual Experiences

Spiritual experiences, such as psychic or near-death experiences, do not distort reality as do psychedelics. These spiritual experiences result in a heightened state of mind with clarity and no distortions. My first spiritual experience occurred to me after reading the Gospel of John for the first time in my life. It is an experience commonly known as a “born again” experience or a religious conversion. For years, I didn’t have the concepts or words to describe this experience. But over the years, after learning more about my own mind and non-ordinary conscious states, I discovered a better way to define it. I define it as my born-again “walk-in” reincarnation experience.

a. An Analogy Describing My Born Again Experience

Before my born again experience, I was living inside a bubble all of my life and was not aware it. While inside my bubble, I believed anyone who was a Christian was either a religious fanatic or self-deluded. I believed the Bible was just a fairy-tale book not worthy of any kind of serious study. Then my born again Christian brother challenged me to read the Gospel of John — the most beautiful book I have ever read in my life. Upon finishing the gospel, I realized the bubble I was living in had “popped” and I had become a completely different person — a more spiritual person. And because I became a completely different person, I believe the “born again” experience should actually be called the “walk-in” experience — a type of reincarnation experience. I know this because my Higher (“angel”) Self “walked” into my body and kicked out my lower (“animalistic”) self which had been living inside the bubble. So in less time than it took for me to read the Gospel of John, I had transformed from a “hell-raising party animal” to a person embracing Christian fundamentalism — a strict and narrow mindset which many people who are “spiritual but not religious” refer to as “Spirituality 101.” Later I discovered the true role of all religions and about true spirituality in near-death experiences which led me to even greater levels of spirituality. Interesting enough, Jesus also referred to the born-again experience in terms of reincarnation — or “resurrection” as it was called in Jesus’ day. See John 3:3-7 where Jesus explains the difference between spiritual resurrection (i.e., born of the Holy Spirit) and physical resurrection (being born of water, of the flesh, childbirth, reincarnation).

b. My Observations of Someone’s Religious Vision

I also had paranormal religious experiences that happened to me. When I was in college, I was discussing the Book of Revelation in my apartment with my college roommate who was becoming interested in Christianity. While I was talking about the second coming of Christ, my friend’s eyes got really big in fear and he fell to the floor. I asked him what was wrong. He saw Jesus enter my apartment by walking through the front door. It was a brief but powerful vision because I knew he was sincere. But I didn’t see a thing. I believe it was his born again experience.

c. My Observations of a Group Religious Vision

I had an extended discussion about Bible prophecy with six college freshman who were becoming interested in Christianity. I was showing them how the Bible foretells a future war in the Middle East over Jerusalem, the second coming, the rapture, and a thousand year peace on Earth. I was good at this and I could tell it was having an impact them based on their excitement level. When our discussion finished, they all left in the same car.

Roughly a half-hour later, they all came back and looking like they all saw a ghost or UFO. I couldn’t understand how a group of college men could be freaking out like a bunch of children in the dark. Then they told me what happened.

They were driving out of town and into the barren countryside when, in the distance, they saw a man standing on the side of the road. By the time they passed him by, they were stunned because the man looked and was dressed like Jesus, complete with white robe and beard. Because they were out in the barren countryside, it was very unusual for anyone to be out there – not to mention a man looking like that. They were so baffled by what they saw that they had to turn the car around to get a second look. But the man was nowhere to be found. The man had vanished. Combined with our previous discussion about prophecy and the second coming of Jesus, I believe what they experienced was a group conversion experience.

My experiences with hallucinations, spiritual conversion, and my budding interest in a new phenomenon called “near-death experiences,” helped me understand and cope with the next level of altered states of conscious experience which were to come to me alone with the 80’s.

3. My Manic Depressive Psychotic Hallucinations

Beginning in 1980, I began to have yearly bouts of depression that would happen at the same time every year like clockwork. They would last as long as a month. At first, the bouts were minor. I thought they were just personality problems. I didn’t know what they were. But as they became more severe, frightening hallucinations would occur – hearing voices, seeing distorted faces, and religious delusions involving hell, demons, and the devil.

Then in 1989, I had a bout that was so severe it became a major crisis and caused me to seriously contemplate suicide for the first time in my life.

After weeks of being depressed, I was growing increasingly paranoid and began having delusions. At this time, I didn’t know what was happening to me, I didn’t know I had an illness. Because of my fundamentalist beliefs at the time, I thought I was under attack by demonic forces. I thought I was having a personality problem which brought on this spiritual battle with my mind. Delusions and hallucinations, such as hearing voices in my mind that were not mine, reading the minds of people around me, people could merely look at my face and know what I was thinking, and coincidences that would occur which seemed to reinforce my delusions.

Trying to sleep was a living hell, so I went for days without sleep. Trying to sleep meant being assaulted by what I thought were “demons” (I believe now they were earthbound human souls), contemplating homelessness and even suicide, Jesus appeared in my mind and the assault on my mind stopped. I had been laying in bed for days with no energy to do much else but hug my pillow and fight a battle in my head. Finally, I decided to just give up fighting completely and I knew this would mean demonic possession of my body and mind. But something else happened instead:

I laid there on my bed, hugging my pillow, and decided to surrender to the demons. I didn’t care what happened. To my surprise, I had a sudden realization that I was laying prone before the feet of Jesus with my arms around his ankles – hanging on for dear life just as one would hang on to a lifesaver. No demons were around. Jesus calmed the raging storm in my mind. My mind was as clear and as calm as a sea of glass. He didn’t say a word and he didn’t have to. The message was perfectly clear. At that time, I realized that Jesus was giving me the peace and clarity of mind to understand that something was going horribly wrong with my mind – that I was insane and needed a psychiatrist.

Important Note: It took Jesus to appear in my mind before I would seek the help of a psychiatrist. Admitting to yourself (and maybe even to family members) that something is wrong with your mind and you need a psychiatrist is the biggest hurdle a mentally ill person – or anyone – ever has to make. Once you are able to acknowledge or understand the problem, the recovery process begins. Then, you can receive medications that will immediately help you sleep and be less anxious. Antidepressants take longer to work, but other medication can ease much of the problems associated with depression. After admitting the problem, the rest of the way becomes much easier by comparison – believe me.

The thought of being mentally ill brought all the images of Hollywood to mind: Charles Manson, straight-jackets, insane asylums, lobotomies, brain electrocutions.

Instead, what I found instead was: a doctor who knew exactly what was wrong, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder which is a genetic mood disorder, and prescriptions for medications – many of which began working that day.

In later years, as my illness fully manifested, I would have bouts mania or psychotic depression that would require visits to a psychiatric hospital – the psych ward – where my medicine could be adjusted and myself monitored. The longest stay in the hospital for me was about a month. It was nothing like Hollywood portrays. When I first knew I had to check in to a psych ward, as I mentioned before, all the images of Hollywood movies came to my mind: being committed against my will for life, people walking around in a medicated stupor, retarded-like people staring at you, sadistic medical technicians, insane laughter, Jack Nicholson with a lobotomy, torture therapy, rats, filth, bugs. Instead, what I found was: a normal hospital environment, normal-looking people with mental problems, regular doctor visits, group discussions, recreation rooms, and 24 hour care.

Since I was first diagnosed, I have been on medications which make the bouts less severe and the hallucinations infrequent. My only regret is that I went untreated for more than 10 years. I could have saved myself a lot of headaches (This is a lesson for those suffering depression. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you’ll feel better.)

One brief note: Years later, I came across both Dr. George Ritchie’s NDE account and Howard Storm’s NDE account of a realm in hell, where they described a kind of battlefield of human souls who were locked into harmful mind-sets. Reading these accounts for the first time frightened me because they are remarkable description of the battle I had in my mind with “demons” while I was in a state of profound psychotic depression. Below are excerpts of what I am referring to:

a. Dr. George Ritchie’s NDE Observations of Earthbound Souls

Dr. George Ritchie’s near-death experience excerpt of hell’s battlefield which is a good description of my battle with “demons” during a psychotic hallucination. It was a psychotic depression that caused me to hallucinate very frightening religious images. But mostly it was a battle for my very sanity and for what I thought was the possession of my soul:

“So far in our journeying we had visited places where the living and the dead existed side by side: indeed where disembodied beings, completely unsuspected by the living, hovered right on top of the physical things and people where their desire was focused.

“Now, however, although we were apparently still somewhere on the surface of the Earth, I could see no living man or woman. The plain was crowded, even jammed with hordes of ghostly discarnate beings; nowhere was there a solid, light-surrounded person to be seen. All of these thousands of people were apparently no more substantial than I myself. And they were the most frustrated, the angriest, the most completely miserable beings I had ever laid eyes on. “Lord Jesus!” I cried. ‘Where are we?’

“At first I thought we were looking at some great battlefield. Everywhere spirits were locked in what looked like fights to the death, writhing, punching, gouging. No weapons of any sort, I saw as I looked closer, only bare hands and feet and teeth. And then I noticed that no one was apparently being injured. There was no blood, no bodies strewed on the ground. A blow that ought to have eliminated an opponent would leave him exactly as before. If I suspected that I was seeing hell, now I was sure of it. These creatures seemed locked into habits of mind and emotion, into hatred, lust, destructive thought-patterns.

“Even more hideous than the bites and kicks they exchanged, were the sexual abuses many were performing in feverish pantomime. Perversions I had never dreamed of were being vainly attempted all around us. It was impossible to tell if the howls of frustration which reached us were actual sounds or only the transference of despairing thoughts. Indeed in this disembodied world it didn’t seem to matter. Whatever anyone thought, however fleetingly or unwillingly, was instantly apparent to all around him, more completely than words could have expressed it, faster than sound waves could have carried it. And the thoughts most frequently communicated had to do with the superior knowledge, or abilities, or background of the thinker.

“‘I told you so!’ “I always knew!’

“‘Didn’t I warn you!’ were shrieked into the echoing air over and over. With a feeling of sick familiarity I recognized here my own thinking. In these yelps of envy and wounded self-importance I heard myself all too well. Once again, however, no condemnation came from the presence at my side, only a compassion for these unhappy creatures that was breaking his heart.

What was keeping them here? Why didn’t each one just get up and leave? I could see no reason why the person being screamed at by that man with the contorted face didn’t simply walk away. Or why that young woman didn’t put a thousand miles between herself and the other one who was so furiously beating her with insubstantial fists? They couldn’t actually hold onto their victims, any of these insanely angry beings. There were no fences. Nothing apparently prevented them from simply going off alone.

“Unless – unless there was no alone in this realm of disembodied spirits. No private corners in a universe where there were no walls. No place that was not inhabited by other beings to whom one was totally exposed at all times. What was it going to be like, I thought with sudden panic, to live forever where my most private thoughts were not private at all? No disguising them, no covering them up, no way to pretend I was anything but what I actually was. How unbearable. Unless of course everyone around me had the same kind of thoughts – Unless there was a kind of consolation in finding others as loathsome as one’s self, even if all we could do was hurl our venom at each other.

“Perhaps this was the explanation for this hideous plain. Perhaps in the course of eons or of seconds, each creature here had sought out the company of others as pride and hate-filled as himself, until together they formed this society of the damned. Perhaps it was not Jesus who had abandoned them, but they who had fled from the light that showed up their darkness. There were beings arguing over some religious or political point, trying to kill the ones who did not agree with them. I thought when I saw this: “No wonder our world is in such a mess and we have had so many tragic religious wars. No wonder this was breaking Christ’s heart, the one who came to teach us peace and love.”

b. Howard Storm’s NDE of Experiencing Earthbound Souls

The following is an excerpt of Howard Storm’s near-death experience of hell’s “battlefield” which is a good description of the “hand-to-hand combat” with harmful earthbound souls whom I fought in my mind during a psychotic hallucination:

“Finally, I told them that I wouldn’t go any farther. At that time they changed completely. They became much more aggressive and insisted that I was going with them. A number of them began to push and shove me, and I responded by hitting back at them. A wild orgy of frenzied taunting, screaming and hitting ensued. I fought like a wild man. All the while it was obvious that they were having great fun. It seemed to be, almost, a game for them, with me as the center-piece of their amusement. My pain became their pleasure. They seemed to want to make me hurt by clawing at me and biting me. Whenever I would get one off me, there were five more to replace the one.

“By this time it was almost complete darkness, and I had the sense that instead of there being twenty or thirty, there were an innumerable host of them. Each one seemed set on coming in for the sport they got from hurting me. My attempts to fight back only provoked greater merriment. They began to physically humiliate me in the most degrading ways. As I continued to fight on and on, I was aware that they weren’t in any hurry to win. They were playing with me just as a cat plays with a mouse. Every new assault brought howls of cacophony. Then at some point, they began to tear off pieces of my flesh. To my horror I realized I was being taken apart and eaten alive, slowly, so that their entertainment would last as long a possible.

“At no time did I ever have any sense that the beings who seduced and attacked me were anything other than human beings. The best way I can describe them is to think of the worst imaginable person stripped of every impulse to do good. Some of them seemed to be able to tell others what to do, but I had no sense of any structure or hierarchy in an organizational sense. They didn’t appear to be controlled or directed by anyone. Basically they were a mob of beings totally driven by unbridled cruelty and passions.

“During our struggle I noticed that they seemed to feel no pain. Other than that they appeared to possess no special non-human or super-human abilities. Although during my initial experience with them I assumed that they were clothed, in our intimate physical contact I never felt any clothing whatsoever.

“Fighting well and hard for a long time, ultimately I was spent. Lying there exhausted amongst them, they began to calm down since I was no longer the amusement that I had been. Most of the beings gave up in disappointment because I was no longer amusing, but a few still picked and gnawed at me and ridiculed me for no longer being any fun. By this time I had been pretty much taken apart. People were still picking at me, occasionally, and I just lay there all torn up, unable to resist.

“Exactly what happened was … and I’m not going to try and explain this. From inside of me I felt a voice, my voice, say, ‘Pray to God.’ My mind responded to that, ‘I don’t pray. I don’t know how to pray.’ This is a guy lying on the ground in the darkness surrounded by what appeared to be dozens if not hundreds and hundreds of vicious creatures who had just torn him up. The situation seemed utterly hopeless, and I seemed beyond any possible help whether I believed in God or not.

“The voice again told me to pray to God. It was a dilemma since I didn’t know how. The voice told me a third time to pray to God. I started saying things like, ‘The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want … God bless America’ and anything else that seemed to have a religious connotation. And these people went into a frenzy, as if I had thrown boiling oil all over them. They began yelling and screaming at me, telling me to quit, that there was no God, and no one could hear me. While they screamed and yelled obscenities, they also began backing away from me as if I were poison. As they were retreating, they became more rabid, cursing and screaming that what I was saying was worthless and that I was a coward.

“I screamed back at them, ‘Our Father who art in heaven,’ and similar ideas. This continued for some time until, suddenly, I was aware that they had left. It was dark, and I was alone yelling things that sounded churchy. It was pleasing to me that these churchy sayings had such an effect on those awful beings.

“Lying there for a long time, I was in such a state of hopelessness, and blackness, and despair, that I had no way of measuring how long it was. I was just lying there in an unknown place all torn and ripped. And I had no strength; it was all gone. It seemed as if I were sort of fading out, that any effort on my part would expend the last energy I had. My conscious sense was that I was perishing, or just sinking into the darkness.

“Now I didn’t know if I was even in the world. But I did know that I was here. I was real, all my senses worked too painfully well. I didn’t know how I had arrived here. There was no direction to follow even if I had been physically able to move. The agony that I had suffered during the day was nothing compared to what I was feeling now. I knew then that this was the absolute end of my existence, and it was more horrible than anything I could possibly have imagined.

“Then a most unusual thing happened. I heard very clearly, once again in my own voice, something that I had learned in nursery Sunday School. It was the little song, ‘Jesus loves me, yes I know …’ and it kept repeating. I don’t know why, but all of a sudden I wanted to believe that. Not having anything left, I wanted to cling to that thought. And I, inside, screamed, ‘Jesus, please save me.’

“That thought was screamed with every ounce of strength and feeling left in me. When I did that, I saw, off in the darkness somewhere, the tiniest little star. Not knowing what it was, I presumed it must be a comet or a meteor, because it was moving rapidly. Then I realized it was coming toward me. It was getting very bright, rapidly. When the light came near, its radiance spilled over me, and I just rose up not with my effort I just lifted up. Then I saw and I saw this very plainly I saw all my wounds, all my tears, all my brokenness, melt away. And I became whole in this radiance.”

c. My Analysis of Dr. George Ritchie and Howard Storm’s Earthbound Experiences

These two descriptions of a hellish battlefield in the realm of thought are remarkable descriptions of what I believed was happening to me while in a state of profound psychotic depression. This is one of the reason’s why these two NDEs are at the top of my list for being the most credible from my perspective.

By the time of my after-death communication (ADC) of my mother, I was a self-proclaimed expert on hallucinations. Not only had I lost my fear of the hellish hallucinations I have experienced, I was understanding them in light of near-death experiences. People have near-death experiences and religious visions from manic depressive hallucinations.

4. My Pre-Birth Memory of My Mission From God

In the early 60s when I was a child, I used to play with a old, broken television set. For some reason, I knew that I could rebuild it into a machine that would answer any questions that people put to it – like an oracle. This idea of mine was very strong in my head when I was a kid and eventually I didn’t think anymore about it. When I went to college in the 70’s, I took a computer programming class and, at that time, there were no personal computers or computer monitors – only huge mainframe computers and teletypewriters with no monitors. Then, personal computers with television-like monitors came out, and I believe that was the beginning of the fruition of my childhood oracle idea involving televisions. Then, I went back to college to further my education right when the Internet was beginning to take off. I learned the technology behind the Internet, how to create websites, and got my BS degree in Computer Science. While I was taking a class on website design, something reminded me of my childhood oracle idea. At some point in college, as I was learning web design, I knew I was going to create a website on the Internet devoted to what I have been learning about NDEs. And I began to believe that this was the fulfillment of my childhood idea. In 1996, I began this NDE website (www.near-death.com) with the knowledge that I was fulfilling that childhood idea of working on a computer that acts as an oracle which will answer questions put to it and present the results in a television format. What I ended up creating was create a large database of NDE information on the Internet for anyone to do keyword searches on from their personal computers.

People who have NDEs are sometimes given information about their mission in life learned before they were born. We are all on a mission from God in this world whether we realize it or not. And as the years go by, I become more and more satisfied that I am fulfilling my mission by doing just what I am doing now with this website. And I believe my childhood idea was an early memory of my mission. You can read more information about pre-birth memories on my website.

5. My Past-Life Memory as My Grandmother’s Father

When I moved up to northern California from southern California in 1995, I moved in with my grandparents (who were in their late 80s then) temporarily until I could figure out where to go next. But, I ended up staying with them to finishing my last semester in college which I did. At some point, I knew that if I didn’t move out, I would end up taking care of them to the end. I eventually made the decision that I would stay with them to the end. I loved them very much and there where more like parents to me than grandparents. My grandparents and I go way back to when I was a child in the early 60’s and I have many fond memories of them. My grandmother and I had a lot in common. We were both manic depressives who experienced suicidal depressions. She was a fundamentalist Christian and we loved to sit and talk about the Bible. Although she thought my NDE books were “nutty” and even worse, our religious faith had a lot in common. Over the years, I attempted to persuade her from the Bible that when people die, they don’t sleep in their graves and they don’t come out like Frankenstein when Jesus comes. Their idea of death was the traditional view and it was not a good view to have when you’re almost into your 90s.

As the years went by, her health began to deteriorate to the point where she couldn’t take care of herself anymore. It was a slow deterioration and I spent several years moving her around, putting her on the toilet, changing her diapers, etc… It was a labor of love because I loved her so much and we didn’t want to put her in a nursing home. I am a big person and she was not. I found myself talking and thinking of her as more of a daughter of mine that I never had. I was on temporary state disability and almost on permanent federal disability, so I had plenty of time and opportunity to help her all the way to the end. But eventually, her health problems became so severe that we had to put her in a nursing home. After about a year of being there, she died. It was October 2002.

But years before her death, while I was her full-time caregiver, she told me about her father for whom I knew virtually nothing about. She told me about his alcohol problem which caused a lot family problems. He used to make his own beer which many people around the turn of the century did. He even did a little bootlegging. My grandmother told me that her father’s brother owned a bar and both of them had a drinking problem. Eventually, her father lost his job and spent family money on booze. He was eventually kicked out of the house because my grandmother’s mother just had enough. He made many attempts to try to get back into the family, but my grandmother’s mother would not permit it. He would show up at the door and even try to sneak into the house. The final time he showed up with a gun to his head. When he was refused entry, he shot and killed himself in front of his family.

While my grandmother was telling me about her father, a very strong realization was occurring in my mind. As she was talking about him, I remember thinking that it seemed as though she was talking about me. I say this for many reasons. First of all, while she was describing her father and his life, it became obvious to me that he was manic depressive and it was probably from him that my grandmother and I inherited the gene for depression. The combination of alcohol, suicide, genetic predisposition, and his behavior, all made me understand his problem and attempts to self-medicate. But also, I identified with him because I had dealt with my own similar problems with alcohol, suicidal depression, strange behavior, and relations with women. However, it was the fact that I was taking care of my grandmother in her last final years at the time that made this past life realization a reality. If I am the reincarnation of my grandmother’s father, then this explains why I ended up in the position of taking care of my grandmother. I was paying the karmic debt I owed her from my previous life as her father when she was a young girl and I killed himself in this manner. All this went through my mind while my grandmother told me the story about her father. It was much more than an epiphany. And the whole situation made perfect sense: my strong love and feelings for my grandmother, my manic depressive struggles, my former alcohol and drug problems, my episodes of suicidal psychosis, my feelings for her as a daughter, and being her caregiver for the last seven years of her life.

Although I cannot prove that I am the reincarnation of my great grandfather Henry Bollinger (which doesn’t really matter anyway because this life is the one we must focus on), I am convinced that everyone has a past life. NDE insights suggests that past lives generally stay within the family. Birds of a feather flock together. Before learning about Henry Bollinger, I used to wonder who I might have been in a past life. I didn’t seem to really fit anyone in my family’s past who fit the bill. But on the day that my grandmother told me the story about her father, I became aware that she was talking about a man who failed her as a father by killing himself, but who came back to redeem himself at the end of her life to care for her when she really needed it the most – in her final years.

You can read more about reincarnation in Christianity and past-life memories on my website.

Categories
Psychology Synchronicity and ADCs

The Odds of My ADC Synchronicity Occurring By Chance

You don’t need to do the math to understand that the probability of turning a TV on at random and hearing the song Moon River is extremely minuscule. An exact figure would not be possible I believe; but it is possible to calculate an approximation. The chart below displays the events and a description of what needs to be calculated.

Table of Contents

  1. The Equations to Calculate Probability and Odds
  2. Determine the Events Which Made This “Moon River” Synchronicity Happen
  3. Calculate the Probability of Waking Up and Getting Out of Bed at Exactly the Right Time
  4. Calculate the Probability of Turning the TV on After Getting Out of Bed
  5. Calculate the Probability of Turning the TV On with the Correct Channel Already Set
  6. Calculate the Probability of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” Being on the TV Channel at That Time
  7. Calculate the Probability of “Moon River” Playing On “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” At Exactly the Right Time
  8. Calculate the Probability and Odds of All These Events Occurring
  9. Comparing the Odds of My “Moon River” Synchronicity with Being Struck By Lightning

1. The Equations to Calculate Probability and Odds

Odds Equation

The “odds” in favor of an event is the ratio of the number of ways the outcome CAN occur to the number of ways the outcome CANNOT occur.

2. Determine the Events Which Made This “Moon River” Synchronicity Happen

Solution: Determine the events quantifying the “Moon River” Synchronicity and calculate the probabilities. I got out of bed in the morning and turned on the TV. The movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” happened to be playing and the song “Moon River” began to play at the very beginning.

a. Let “getting out of bed” = Event (Out of Bed) = The event of waking up and immediately getting out of bed in the morning between 8am and 10am

Let P (Out of Bed) = The probability of waking up and immediately getting out of bed in the morning between 8am and 10am

b. Let “Turning the TV on” = Event (Turn TV on) = The event of turning the TV on immediately after getting out of bed.

Let P (Turn TV on) = The probability of turning the TV on immediately after getting out of bed

c. Let the correct TV Channel = Event (Correct Channel) = The event that the TV happens to be set at just the correct channel that “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is playing on when the TV is turned on.

Let P (Correct Channel) = The probability that the TV happens to be set at just the correct channel that “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is playing on when the TV is turned on.

d. Let “Breakfast at Tiffany’s playing on the TV” = Event (Tiffany on) = The event that the movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” happens to be playing on the TV when when turned on

Let P (Tiffany on) = The probability that the movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” happens to be playing on the TV when when turned on

e. Let the “event of the song Moon River plays at the beginning of the song” = Event (Moon River) = The event that the song “Moon River” happens to begin playing from the very beginning of the song

Let P (Moon River) = The probability that the song “Moon River” happens to begin playing from the very beginning of the song

f. Let “all the above events” occurring = Event (All) = The event of waking up, getting out of bed, turning the TV on, and “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is on, and “Moon River” begins to play from the beginning.

Let P (All Events) = The probability of waking up, getting out of bed, turning the TV on, and “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is on, and “Moon River” begins to play from the beginning

g. Determine the probability equation of all these events occurring:

P (All Events) = P (Out of Bed) multiplied by P (Turn TV on) multiplied by P (Correct Channel) multiplied by P (Tiffany on) multiplied by P (Moon River)

h. Determine the odds equation of P (All Events) occurring:

Odds (All Events) = P (All Events) divided by 1 – P (All Events)

3. Calculate P (Out of Bed) the Probability of Waking Up and Getting Out of Bed at Exactly the Right Time

Conditions: I don’t remember exactly what time it was when I got out of bed that morning on July 2, 2002. I didn’t have a job at the time and I wasn’t using an alarm clock. However, the vast majority of the time when I wake up and get out of bed is anywhere between 8 am and 10 am. And I am fairly sure this was the time frame that morning.

Problem: What is the probability of waking up and getting out of bed at any particular minute between 8 am and 10 am?

Solution: There are 1200 seconds between 8 am and 10 am. The probability of getting out of bed at any particular minute between 8 -10 am is equal to the probability equation below:

4. Calculate P (Turn TV on) the Probability of Turning the TV on After Getting Out of Bed

Conditions: My morning ritual of getting up in the morning is very routine. The moment I am out of bed, I immediately have three things to do and I don’t always do them in the same order. (1) Head for the bathroom. (2) Turn the TV on. (3) Put on my clothes. It is equally likely that I will immediately do any one of these three things first, depending on certain conditions. So, in mathematical terms, for every three mornings, I immediately turn on the TV first.

Problem: What is the probability of turning the TV on after getting out of bed?

Solution: I have estimate that about one third of the time, I immediately turn the TV on when I wake up and get out of bed. That is 1 out of every 3 mornings, I immediately turn the TV on. So, the probability equation is below:

5. Calculate P (Correct Channel) the Probability of Turning the TV On with the Correct Channel Already Set

Conditions: I do not select a TV channel before I turn on the TV. I just turn it on to whatever channel it was set on the last time I shut the TV off. I have Comcast cable TV with hundreds of channels; but most of the channels are garbage in my opinion. However, there are only 11 channels that I like and regularly watch. I don’t watch anything outside of those channels.

Problem: What is the probability of my TV already being set to the channel that “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” happens to be on?

Solution: I only watch 11 cable channels and anyone of them could have equally been the channel that came on that morning. So the probability equation is below:

6. Calculate P (Tiffany on) the Probability of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” Being on the TV Channel at That Time

Conditions: At this time, I have never seen “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” before. However, I certainly have heard the song “Moon River” many times. So when I turned the TV on that morning and heard the song begin to play, I was completely flabbergasted to say the least. That song was sung at my mother’s memorial only days before. It was her song. And the night before, I had an awesome after-death communication of my mother when I spontaneously felt her enormous presence for about an hour. So waking up the next morning and hearing “Moon River” when I turned on the TV that morning was a coincidence of really beyond measure.

Problem: For any given day of that month of July, 2002, what is the probability that “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” would be playing on TV on that day?

Solution: Getting an exact probability for this problem is virtually impossible because I would need to know exactly how many days in July of 2002 the movie played. However, for the sake of getting at least an approximation, let us assume “Breakfast at Tiffany’s played only once in that month of July. This is a fair assumption because the movies I watch normally don’t repeat at another time in the same day or month. So the probability equation is below:

7. Calculate P (Moon River) the Probability of “Moon River” Playing On “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” At Exactly the Right Time

Conditions: When I woke up and turned the TV on, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” happened to be on at exactly at the time the song “Moon River” began to play.

Problem: What is the probability of “Moon River” playing from the beginning on “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”?

Solution: The movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is 115 minutes long. The song “Moon River” is played in its instrumental version only two times in the movie. It plays one time during the film’s opening titles, and another time at the end of the movie. So the probability equation is below:

8. Calculate the Probability and Odds of All These Events Occurring

Conditions: When I woke up, I immediately got out of bed and turned the TV on. The movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” just happened to be on at that time. Immediately the song “Moon River” began to play from the very beginning.

Problem: What is the probability of waking up, immediately getting out of bed and turned the TV on and the movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” happens to be on and immediately the song “Moon River” begins to play from the very beginning?

Solution: The probability equation is below:

9. Comparing the Odds of My “Moon River” Synchronicity with Being Struck By Lightning

In conclusion, the approximate odds of getting out of bed in the morning, turning the TV on, with the correct channel “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” to be on and the song “Moon River” playing from the very beginning is approximately 1 in 6.5 million. This is an extremely long shot when you compare these odds with other odds. The odds of being struck by lightning is 1 in 5 million!

Categories
Psychology Synchronicity and ADCs

The After-Death Visitation of My Mother

My mother died on November 24, 2001, in the winter when the frozen Montana soil makes funerals and burials impractical. So her memorial and funeral was set for June 22, 2002. I was living in California at the time recovering from another bout of bipolar disorder mania and depression after a stay in a VA psych ward. As the day of Mom’s funeral approached, the more I realized how it would be the most emotional experience of my life, probably too emotional for my mental health, perhaps leading to another stay the psych ward. It had been several years since I had been to my Mom’s home. But she wasn’t there anymore. Her ashes were there. And her presence would be everywhere. So I decided to do the safe thing and stay home. Still, I was sick to my stomach over the decision. Thankfully, my father provided me a videotape of everything. Watching my Mom’s memorial and funeral on video gave me the ability experience it while remain emotionally removed from everything on the video.

Table of Contents

  1. My Spontaneous After-Death Communication of My Mother
  2. The Song “Moon River” and ADC Synchronicity
  3. Interesting Facts About the Song “Moon River”
  4. My Metaphysical Synchronicity With the Moon

1. My Spontaneous After-Death Communication of My Mother

Four days after viewing my Mom’s memorial video, on July 1, 2002, I was sitting alone in my room watching a television show which was a modern version of Candid Camera – except they do cruel tricks on people. I watched as they were playing mind games on an unsuspecting victim who looked remarkably like my twin brother Steve. I was reminded of my brother’s situation and all the pain and grief that he and his wife had been going through. No one was suffering more over the accident than Steve and his family. Along with their grief over Mom, they had to deal with permanent injuries, and lost employment – not to mention the loss of other things that cannot be valued.

As I thought about my brother, the mind games they were playing on the man on TV was bringing him to tears. Seeing this man in tears, who looked remarkably like my brother, made me cry.

Then something very bizarre but wonderful happened to me. I suddenly felt what I can only describe as a large invisible beam of energy made of pure love and happiness hit my chest. This entire experience did not involve any of my five senses. The beam remained focused over my heart as it poured this powerful energy of heavenly bliss into me. Wonderful feelings of intense love and ecstasy such as I have never felt before was filling and transforming my heart, mind and soul. I sensed this beam was coming from the sky, through the ceiling, and into my chest. I wasn’t too concerned about what it was at the time because it felt incredibly good. As it poured in, I grabbed my chest in ecstasy to let as much of this beam of love and happiness in as possible. I remember having a passing thought of concern that this must be some kind of a gigantic manic depressive episode that I have never experienced before. But the wonderful feelings I was experiencing made me dismiss that thought quickly. The strange transformational feeling I was experiencing began slowly from around place where the beam was entering my chest. Then it slowly spread out from my chest to the rest of my body. I remember thinking how it felt like a man of stone coming to life. I remember thinking that God must be jump-starting my heart. This wonderful and magical feeling lasted at least a minute.

Then, at the height of this ecstasy, came the astounding realization in my mind’s eye that my mother was standing next to me. “Oh, Mom!” I cried. Having nothing to grab onto, I intuitively wrapped my arms around myself and felt her hugging me. Any sorrow remaining within me from losing her, just burst right out of me. At the same time, she filled me to overflowing with heaven which she brought with her. Everything I wanted to say to her, since the day she died, came out of me to her in my mind as well.

Although my five senses didn’t detect her, her presence around me was so strong that I didn’t need to use them. The combination of her strong presence and love, and the ecstatic feelings I was having, elevated my awareness to a degree that I was using senses reserved for hallucinations which I was well experienced with. But this was no drug or psychotic hallucination I have ever experienced. Being with her again made me suddenly realize how long I had been without her. This led to the strange realization that, since her death, I had been slowing forgetting about the feeling of being around her – her presence – without even knowing it. I realized this is how people are able to live the rest of their lives without their loved ones. Over time, we just naturally forget. That momentary thought was unsettling and only her strong presence with me took that thought immediately away.

I had the astonishing realization of my mother knowing from heaven I was despairing over my brother and somehow a “door” was opened allowing her to visit and comfort me. I also understood this became a reality because I was open to the possibility, and would want it to happen, and could handle it if it did happen. So she moved heaven and earth to make it happen. I also realized it was too much for her to bear knowing I was grieving about Steve and his family this way. Along with her sheer force of will, the door was opened for her to visit me from the Other Side. I also felt her communications with us from the Other Side was something she strongly wanted to do.

As I basked in her presence, tears of both joy and sorrow flowed out of me at the same time. As she was cuddling me, I transformed into her little boy again. I could view my relationship with my mother from a perspective I never knew before — from the vantage point of my whole life — all at once. For the rest of that night, I was her child. Memories and feelings I had of my childhood flooded my heart and mind.

Although our communication was mostly non-verbal, I remember moments of strongly hearing her voice in my mind. But most of my experience with her occurred on a conscious level too deep for me to recall. But I do remember her telling me these words:

Momma’s here. I’m here to make everything alright. I’m still here.

I understood her words to mean, although she was in heaven, she is still here with us and aware of what’s going on. And right now, she came back to earth to comfort me and bring heaven to me. I felt her presence multiplied to such a degree, it felt like I was in heaven just being with her again. And I wanted this feeling to last forever. I wanted to be with her forever. I wanted her to take me to heaven. But I also knew this was physically impossible.

I overflowed with heaven from her presence; and thanked God and Mom for allowing it to happen.

I knew this was also a goodbye — the goodbye I couldn’t have before she died.

I also realized my mother allowed me to catch a glimpse of heaven and the love awaiting us there when we meet again.

I was not aware of exactly how long my visitation with my mother lasted, but my guess was about an hour or so. And this heavenly experience didn’t just end abruptly. Everything gradually returned back to normal until eventually I couldn’t feel her presence in the room anymore. But within me, my mother had filled my heart and soul with tremendous happiness and love.

I spent the rest of that magical night contemplating what happened. I knew my mother visited me in an after-death communication because I have read so much about them. Now I have experienced what I have been reading about all these years. This experience with my mother made me even more interested in after-death communications.

But because of my own personal experience with psychedelic, psychotic, and psychic (spiritual) hallucinations, I knew the visitation experience with my mother was a form of hallucination. As I said earlier, none of my five senses were involved — only my intuitive and spiritual senses were involved — and this is why I view this as a form of hallucination. But it was a spontaneous hallucination on a massive scale and this is what makes it different than any hallucination I have ever experienced. Hallucinations don’t happen spontaneously unless there is a drug involved or psychosis present. My experience was more like the religious ecstasies I have read about; so I don’t consider them miracles either. Miracles by definition are impossible; but I know these kind of experiences are possible. Even if my mother had materialized in front of me, and I could see her with my own eyes, I would not consider it a miracle. Historical records and recent studies into after-death communications are filled with such accounts of actual materializations. For my mother’s visitation to a miracle, she would have had to leave something physical behind — such as her heavenly shoe or ring. Now that would be a miracle!

My mother didn’t leave me a ring, but she left me with something far more meaningful to me. And I found it only hours later when I woke up the next morning.

2. The Song “Moon River” and ADC Synchronicity

The next morning, I awoke with wonderful thoughts and feelings of my mother and her visit only hours ago. I laid there in bed awhile thinking about how all the happiness I was experiencing might put me in danger of becoming manic — the other side of manic depression marked by elevated mood. I decided I would see my doctor just to be safe.

I then got out of bed and turned on the television set which is something I often do. What happened next was far more difficult for me to believe than my visitation with my mother just hours earlier. What happened when I turned on the TV was practically a miracle.

When I turned the TV set on, immediately the song Moon River began to play! Time seemed to momentarily stop as my jaw hit the floor. I couldn’t believe my ears! By pure coincidence, I turned the TV on to a movie that just happened to play the song Moon River – my mother’s song! This song was also sung by my brother at my mother’s memorial only nine days prior. By randomly turning the TV set on to the song Moon River, I had just experienced the “Mother of all Synchronistic Coincidences” — pun intended. And at the time, I didn’t need to do the math to know how improbable such an event could occur at random. Later, I calculated the odds of turning a TV on anytime at random and hearing the song Moon River in a movie. The odds of this happening at random is over 1 in 6.5 million. By comparison, the odds of being struck by lightning by pure chance is 1 in 5 million. I also discovered that the movie appearing on the TV that morning was called Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The cable records are there to prove it.

When Moon River began to play, I picked up my metaphorical jaw off the floor, sat down in my chair, and let the message of Moon River flow. It was Henri Mancini’s orchestra playing the song and I hadn’t heard this version of Moon River since I was a child listening to it on my mother’s stereo. And it moved me to my very soul. I also knew I would have to see my doctor after this because I knew this was the closest thing to a miracle I have ever experienced. And I feared mania would carry me away – and it was pure heaven.

Hearing the song Moon River that morning meant so many things to me. It was a “sign” from God. It was certainly proof to my mind there was indeed life after death. It was physical confirmation validating my spiritual experience with my mother was a physical reality. It was the biggest coincidence — a synchronicity — that ever happened to me. Just hours before, my mother visited me. Just four days before, I watched my brother sing Moon River on videotape. Nine days before, he sang Moon River at our mother’s memorial. Eleven days before, my sister remembered for the first time since childhood, Moon River as our mother’s favorite song. The message is clear — my mother is still alive though she is physically dead.

3. Interesting Facts About the Song Moon River

Moon River is a beautiful song from the early 60’s which my mother identified with as a young mother. For me, the song represents a time of innocence for my family and for America in general. Those were the illusionary days of Ozzie and Harriet, Leave it to Beaver, and My Three Sons — before the political assassinations, the Vietnam war, and the social upheaval came and blew all the illusions away.

Moon River

Moon River, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you’re going,
I’m going your way.

Two drifters, off to see the world.
There’s such a lot of world to see.
We’re after the same rainbow’s end,
waiting round the bend,
my huckleberry friend.
Moon River, and me.

— Lyrics by Johnny Mercer, Music by Henry Mancini

After the very first screening of the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the president of Paramount paced around the room, puffing on a cigar, and said, “Well, I’ll tell you one thing, you can get rid of the song.” Thankfully, Audrey Hepburn was there and to her credit, stood up and said, “Over my dead body.”

Henri Mancini’s version of Moon River won the Academy Award in 1962 for Best Original Song.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (Paramount, 1961) starred Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard and was directed by Blake Edwards. The screenplay was written by George Axelrod based on a novel by Truman Capote. The song Moon River was sung in the movie by Audrey Hepburn.

What is meant by “my huckleberry friend” in the song Moon River? In the book entitled, Our Huckleberry Friend: The Life, Times and Lyrics of Johnny Mercer, it describes how Johnny and his friends would enjoy spending the summers picking wild huckleberries (i.e., blueberries) by a river now known as Moon River. They would put the huckleberries in pails and bring them home to put in ice cream. So this was the origin of “my huckleberry friend” — not about Huckleberry Finn as many people erroneous believe. It was just Johnny as a little boy with his friends enjoying themselves as they picked huckleberries.

Other movies with the song Moon River in it include: The Godfather, Ocean’s Eleven (2001), The Presidio, Born on the Fourth of July, and The Brotherhood.

You can also listen to a clip of the song “Moon River” as performed by Henri Mancini.

4. My Metaphysical Synchronicity With the Moon

My close association with the moon and Moon River intrigues me. I am a moon child born under the sign of Cancer. Moon children are said to be very emotional almost to the point of being unable to control themselves which is often true of me. My manic depressive illness has a connection with the moon. Mental illness was thought by the ancients to be caused by the moon (lunatic = luna = moon). My heavenly visit with my mother occurred in July under the sign of Cancer.

The month of November of 2001, the month of my mother’s death, was unique in that two full moons occurred within that month. This astronomical configuration is termed a “Blue Moon” and it occurs once in approximately once every two and a half years. During November 2001 the first full moon fell in Taurus on the 1st of the month and on the 30th of November Gemini was graced with the second or “Blue Moon”. According to astrologers, the November 2001 Blue Moon would strongly influence the signs of Taurus, Gemini, Scorpio and Sagittarius. My mother was born under the sign of Taurus.

I had my astrological birth chart created by a professional astrologer many years ago. I asked her how fraternal twin brothers, such as my brother and I, who were different in personality and tastes (unlike some identical twins) could somehow be connected to a similar birth chart. She explained how minor differences between birth time in minutes or hours can affect a birth chart. She also explained how one brother’s birth chart can be interpreted using Sun-sign astrological principles and the other using Moon-sign astrology. I clearly fall under a Moon-sign interpretation.

Because I am a male Cancer and moon child, this means the moon also rules my relationship with my mother and other important females in my life. This astrological principle certainly applies to me. I also have a sister and step-mother are moon children.

In astrological terms, the moon represents a general reflection of what humans have been in past lives. Because I have strong memories of some of my past life identities, this astrological principle certainly applies to me.

Considering my connection to my mother is so strong, and my astrological connection with the moon is so strong, and our connection with Moon River is so strong, this may explain why my “Moon River experience” was so strong and why Moon River had such a positive effect on healing the grief of losing the central component of my family, and why Moon River shows how my connection to my mother will never be broken.

Categories
Psychology Synchronicity and ADCs

My Transition Through Grief of Losing My Mother

Many people know how the death of a loved one can be one of the most difficult experiences anyone can ever have in life. I never knew what losing a loved one meant until I my mother died in 2001. Before this time, I was focused primarily upon the ecstasy experienced by people who experienced death and the afterlife during a near-death experience (NDE). Near-death experiencers (NDErs) tell us there is nothing better on Earth than being dead. I remember one particular experiencer saying it is the living who dwell in the land of death. On the Other Side is eternal life. I heard one particular NDEr say, “You will never be more dead than you are right now.” Other NDErs have expressed a similar thought, such as, no matter how good life on Earth can be, it is a miserable cesspool compared to heaven. One experiencer, Dr. Dianne Morrissey, eloquently put it this way:

“If I lived a billion years more, in my body or yours, there’s not a single experience on Earth that could ever be as good as being dead. Nothing.” (Dr. Dianne Morrissey)

I love this quote so much, it was the inspiration for the title of my book Nothing Better Than Death. Ironically and sadly, while I was writing this book, my mother died in a car accident. My twin brother was severely injured and his wife broke her back almost killing her.

Before she died, I had never before experienced the death of someone so close to me whom I loved so much. I was confident that when the day came for me to experience such a loss, the knowledge in my head which I obtained from NDE books would protect my heart from grief. But I was wrong. When it came to death, I was an expert on the Other Side. But when my mother died, I realized how retarded I was about death on this side of life.

For a long time, I would advise grieving mothers they should try not grieve too much over their lost children because unnaturally excessive grief can hinder their child’s progression on the Other Side. (I cringe every time I think about this because I gave this advice to a great number of people). Although I believe this advice to be correct, it wasn’t until I experienced profound grief myself that I realized how cold and clinical such advice is. I viewed grief as the enemy – not death. I mistakenly believed profound grief could be avoided by becoming properly educated in NDE research. And I assumed people who were already grieving over a loss just needed some NDE education, which I believed would be enough to help them.

But when my own mother died, I eventually learned how untrue all this was. My real education concerning grief began. It would end with me still believing death is the next best thing on Earth (with love at number one.) But now I knew this holds true only for those who have died. For surviving family and friends, death can be a living hell on Earth.

My delusion of NDE education protecting people from grief vanished along with my mother. It was an education on life and death which can’t be taught in classes or learned in books. It can only be learned through the “School of Hard Knocks.” My grief over the loss of my mother was a difficult journey of self-examination which began with extreme denial. Then my denial was eventually penetrated by painful reality checks which bombarded my mind. As my delusions became dispelled, reality and grief began to set in. Grief turned into depression. Depression turned into suicidal depression. But with the help of adjustments to my antidepressant regime and stays in the psych ward, I made it through and recovered. Then, one night my mother suddenly visited me in spirit in an experience called an after-death communication.

When the car accident happened on November 24, 2001, and I learned my had mother died, I was more excited by the fact she had made the ultimate transition than I was over the fact she was gone. After all, everyone returns to “Home” to God when their time is ready, and it was her time. She had graduated. Even when my father broke the news to me about the accident, I didn’t really know at first how to react because my initial feeling was, “Wow, Mom’s in heaven! That’s great! She’s with Jesus!” All those many wonderful hours my mother and I spent watching near-death documentary videos together and now she actually made the transition herself! I was envious.

When our family gathered together to comfort one another, I was a little embarrassed about my mania. Mania is a very elevated, elated, and expansive mood which can lead to psychosis and serious hallucinations for a manic depressive such as myself. I was proud of the fact that I was happy about her death because it meant I passed the test: I really do believe there is nothing better than death. I was not devastated by death! Not even the death of my own mother! After all, what was there to be devastated about? In my mind, my mother’s death was the equivalent of her being freed from San Quentin prison after serving a lifetime of hard labor. And not only this, I believed it was the equivalent of her being transported to Hawaii where I will someday soon join her. What is there to be devastated about?

It wasn’t very long before the mania subsided, the denial faded, and the full reality of losing my mother really meant began to sink in. Ultimately, my delusions of grandeur came crashing down like the mythological Satan falling like lightning from heaven and I fell into a pit of emotional hell. The full magnitude of my loss began to sink painfully into my head and no amount of lithium was going to stop it. The reality checks entered my brain until the full realization came:

She is gone from this world forever. I am never going to see her in this world again. Life will never be the same without her. I will have to live without her for the rest of my life. Only death can reunite us. That may take a lifetime. I wish I were dead now.

My illusions of there being nothing better in this world than death began to crack. Although I was already on many medications for depression, they did not prevent the coming depression, although it may have made it less severe. The loss of my mother triggered a chemical imbalance in my brain which led to depression. The sooner a person visits their doctor at the first signs of depression, the sooner they will get relief. In my case, because I have manic depression and was in danger of psychosis, I checked myself into the psych ward. Because of my mental illness, checking myself into a psych ward was something I had done several times before in my life so it was not a big deal.

At this point, I want to emphasize how critical it is to see a doctor at the first signs of depression. You will save yourself and your family a lot of pain and suffering. Unfortunately, many people are either not aware of the signs or decide to go untreated. Based on my own experience, the highest hurdle I ever had to get myself over was to admit there is something wrong with my mind — to admit I needed to see a “psychiatrist” – to admit I may need to go to a hospital for the mind. People with other physical illnesses, such as cancer patients or heart patients, generally don’t have this hurdle.

The signs of depression are not always obvious at first. But left untreated, these signs can get much worse. They are: profound sadness and hopelessness, sleep problems (too much or too little), loss of energy (you don’t have the energy to even get out of bed), loss of concentration, loss of appetite, and loss of sex drive. In severe cases, there may be: suicidal thoughts, paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations. Seeking a doctor’s help can literally be a lifesaver at this point. The following is my description of severe depression:

Depression is so disabling, you have absolutely no energy to think, move, sleep, or take the medicine needed to get well. Depression feels like falling into a 30-foot deep grave and realizing there is no way out and that it’s never going to end. Utter darkness surrounds you as profound sadness, misery and confusion descends upon your mind like a thick fog. It is a devastating mental, emotional, and physical hell, comparable to becoming a zombie, one of the living dead. Depression feels like the death of your spirit; leaving you feeling like an empty corpse with all hope lost forever. As time drags on, you feel like you are rotting away mentally and physically. Left untreated, the illness can get progressively worse. You may begin hearing frightening voices in your head which you are convinced are not your own. If you believe in Satan, your reality might transform into what you believe is a demonic world of persecution involving self-condemnation, self-judgment, self-loathing, and self-delusion. You may feel like demons are everywhere trying to possess your corpse. Your mind can be dragged through the very gates of insanity where the voices of hell, frightening apparitions, bizarre delusions, and reality becomes an endless loony tune show playing out in your head and all around you. The mental, emotional and spiritual torment can become so overwhelming, suicide becomes like a friend and death a welcome way out. All the while, your loved ones may be wondering why you can’t get out of bed. Nobody knows or understands what’s happening to you — not even yourself. They wonder why you can’t just “snap out of it.” Even worse, if you do give in to suicide, your loved ones will die a thousand deaths wondering why. And then your living hell will probably become your after death hell as well.

The unfortunate thing about medicine for depression is that they don’t work immediately. It may take up to a month before the medicine begins to take effect. However, medications for many of the symptoms of depression work immediately: such as medicine for anxiety, insomnia and psychosis. This is why it is best to seek help right away and not wait.

Don’t Believe The Bull Crap About Shock Treatments Being Harmful

There is only one treatment for severe depression I know works within days and sometimes immediately. It is electroconvulsive therapy (or ECT or electroshock treatments or “shock treatments”). This treatment has received a very bad reputation from uninformed people in the media and politics – but especially from the movie “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.” It is very unfortunate how this movie had such a damaging effect upon the psychiatric community because of the movie’s misrepresentation of ECT. And it wasn’t like mental illness had a good reputation to begin with either. The hysteria this movie created ultimately resulted in ECT almost being eliminated entirely as a treatment during the 1970’s. The price paid to make a few Hollywood people rich was the needlessly suffering of millions of mentally ill people who couldn’t get access to ECT thanks to the tremendous falsehoods and misconceptions this movie created. The PR damage can be seen even to this day.

The Truth Is This: Electroconvulsive therapy is safer than taking aspirin. The amount of electricity used in this procedure is very tiny. Heart patients get their hearts resuscitated with a far more amount of electricity than ECT. Electroconvulsive therapy saves lives as well because it can prevent people from committing suicide instantly. The procedure is performed while the patient is asleep under anesthetic so there is absolutely no pain involved. Relief from a catatonic depression can be instantaneous using ECT. This occurred to my grandmother (who was also bipolar) after she underwent ECT after suffering catatonic depression for weeks. I cannot praise ECT enough! In fact, my psychiatrist has informed me how my bipolar disorder will likely get worse as I get older like my grandmother. I will not hesitate to have ECT treatment for myself because of the “miraculous” affect it has in immediately ending severe depression. If you have a loved one for whom ECT is recommended, do not hesitate to have it done. It is a life-saver and you’re loved one with thank you for it!

Categories
Psychology Synchronicity and ADCs

A Brief Timeline of My Family’s After-Death Communications From My Mother

My family began receiving after-death communications (ADCs) from my mother just days after she died suddenly in 2001. We continue to receive ADCs regularly throughout the decades following her death with the latest one occurring in 2018. These ADCs happen spontaneously through lucid dreams, paranormal experiences of feeling her presence, hearing her voice, and numerous “synchronicities” experienced by family members coinciding around her special anniversaries, such as the day of her death, her memorial, and her birthday. These synchronicities are experiences related to my mother’s favorite song, Moon River, a beautiful song by Henry Mancini originally created to be performed by Audrey Hepburn‘s character in the movie adaptation of Truman Capote‘s novella Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and a song made more famous by Andy Williams, a song sung her at her memorial, and a song perfectly describing her personality and life. The following is a brief timeline of the ADC synchronicities my family received after my mother’s death.

1961
The song Moon River became famous by Audrey Hepburn in Truman Capote‘s movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s. A more popular version of Moon River was later made famous by Andy Williams. My mother may have seen this movie with one of more of her friends. This is only speculation. [Details]

Early 1960’s
The song Moon River as sung by Andy Williams became my mother’s favorite song and could be heard frequently on our living room stereo when I was a child. [Details]

1970
My young mother left her young husband and four children for a man named Paul which was remarkably synchronistic with Truman Capote‘s characters in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. [Details]

September 26, 1978
I attended a college lecture on this day by Truman Capote, the inspiration of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the inspiration for the song Moon River. [Details]

September, 1978
Days after the Truman Capote lecture on September 26, 1978, I attended a college fraternity party at a hot springs in the vast wilderness area near Yellowstone National Park just three miles away from where my mother would die in a car accident 23 years later in 2001. [Details]

November 15, 2000
I created a music CD for my mother with her favorite song, Moon River, at the top of the list. [Details]

November 24, 2001
My mother died in a car accident on this day while hunting with my fraternal twin brother’s family near Yellowstone Park. The accident occurred just three miles away from the college fraternity party I attended in 1978 during “Rush Week” festivities when I attended the Truman Capote lecture. [Details]

November 26, 2001
On this day, just two days after my mother’s death, she appeared to my sister and I in similar lucid ADC visitation dreams on the same night. My mother told me about a message she had yet to give my brother Glenn which I would find out later related to my brother’s memory of the song Moon River. [Details]

November 26, 2001
On the same day as my spontaneous visitation dream of my mother sitting on a couch in a heavenly room, my brother Glenn had a spontaneous childhood memory of my mother sitting on a couch in the living room with him in her arms singing Moon River. [Details]

November 28, 2001
On this day, just two days after my ADC visitation dream of my mother, I phoned my sister Debbie and told her about it. She then told me about a remarkably similar ADC dream of my mother she had on the same night as mine. [Details]

June 20, 2002
On this day, just days before Glenn would sing Moon River at Mom’s memorial, Debbie spontaneously remembered Moon River as a song she associated with Mom. It was also a song she hadn’t thought of since childhood. Debbie would experience a major synchronicity when my brother Glenn sang Moon River two days later at my Mom’s memorial. [Details]

June 22, 2002
My brother sang Moon River in my mother’s memory at her memorial. [Details]

June 27, 2002
I watched my mother’s memorial on videotape on this day and heard my brother sing Moon River. [Details]

July 1, 2002
On this evening, just days after watching my mother’s memorial and hearing Glenn sing Moon River, I had a spontaneous and powerful hour-long ADC visitation with my mother where I felt her enormous presence. [Details]

July 2, 2002
The next morning, only hours after my ADC presence of my mother, I turned the television on and by pure coincidence Truman Capote‘s movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s came on and the song Moon River began to play. I immediately understood this to be a profound ADC synchronicity validating the profound ADC visitation of my mother just hours earlier. [Details]

July 21, 2002
My father heard Paul Harvey on the car radio discussing a news item about the real Moon River. [Details]

November 5, 2003
I published these ADCs and Moon River coincidences on my website on this day. [Details]

November 5, 2003
On the same day, my brother Glenn heard the song Moon River highlighted on the television show “Sex and the City.” [Details]

November 6, 2003
The next day, Glenn read my email about the ADCs and Moon River coincidences on my website. Because he heard Moon River play the night before on “Sex and the City,” this was a big Moon River synchronicity for him. [Details]

November 24, 2003
On this day, the second anniversary of my mother’s death, my sister Debbie coincidentally watched Andy Williams sing Moon River on a cable biography of him. [Details]

November 25, 2003
The next day I phoned my sister Debbie. To my utter amazement, she told me about hearing Andy Williams singing Moon River on TV the previous day, on the second anniversary of my mother’s death. [Details]

November 25, 2003
On the same day, Steve and his wife Sandy were browsing around in a mall music store when Sandy picked the first CD she saw on the shelf at random. It was a Barbara Streisand CD. Out of curiosity, she looked on the back of the CD and saw the song Moon River listed on it. [Details]

December 6, 2003
On this date, for the first time I learned what inspired Glenn to sing Moon River at Mom’s memorial. A few days after her death, he remembered an incident in his childhood where he sat on the couch in the living room with my mother singing Moon River. [Details]

December 9, 2003
On this date, I finally discovered the Moon River news article my father heard about last year on his car radio by Paul Harvey. [Details]

February – April 2005
A copy editor volunteered to create a manuscript from my family’s ADCs and “Moon River coincidences” for my next book. It resulted in her personally experiencing numerous profound Moon River coincidences. [Details]

July 28-29, 2009
As my father was in a coma and dying from complications related to lymphoma, he experienced a phenomenon called “terminal lucidity.” [Details]

October 15, 2009
My father appeared to me in an ADC visitation dream months after his death and just three days before his birthday. [Details]

July 29, 2010
This is the first anniversary of my father’s death and transition to heaven. [Details]

August 1, 2010
A few days later, on this evening while watching TV, I stumbled across the beginning of the show “The Andy Williams Moon River and Me Show.” [Details]

August 3, 2010
On this evening while watching TV, I heard Moon River played by Henry Mancini from Truman Capote‘s movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s on an infomercial for Time-Life’s “Golden Age of Pop.” [Details]

August 4, 2010
I received an email from my step-mother Marilee Williams telling me how she also stumbled across “The Andy Williams Moon River and Me Show” on TV on August 1st. [Details]

August 7, 2010
On this evening while watching TV, I stumbled across repeats of “The Andy Williams Moon River and Me Show” and an A&E Biography of Truman Capote. [Details]

August 8, 2010
The A&E Biography of Truman Capote repeated on this date. [Details]

August 9, 2010
The actress Patricia Neal, from the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote, died on this day. [Details]

July 29, 2011
This is the second anniversary of my Dad’s transition to heaven. [Details]

July 30, 2011
The next day, while searching the Internet for more information about a TV show I was watching, I stumbled across an article about “The Moon River Brewing Company.” [Details]

October 16, 2011
On this day, two days before my deceased father’s birthday, I experienced an ADC of hearing his voice speaking clearly in my ear. [Details]

October 18, 2011
On my father’s birthday, I stumbled across a relevant article about Truman Capote‘s main character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Holly GoLightly, Moon River, and the 60’s sexual revolutions. [Details]

October 19, 2011
My step-mother Marilee told me she heard the song Moon River played on a TV show the previous night on my father’s birthday. [Details]

April 20, 2017
I received a tremendous epiphany on this date about an event I experienced in 1978 near Yellowstone Park as part of a special week of university festivities which included the Truman Capote lecture. But even more amazing, I discovered the fraternity party was just three miles away from the 2001 accident where my mother died. [Details]

October 1, 2018
On this evening I participated in the first meeting of the Sacramento IANDS Group where I spoke about my book and how the ADCs related to my mother provided evidence of her continuing survival. A local news station covered the event which I watched on TV later that evening. Minutes later, a news story about Truman Capote appeared. [Details]

Categories
Psychology Synchronicity and ADCs

A Detailed Timeline of My Family’s After-Death Communications From My Mother

The paranormal aspect of these after-death communications (ADCs) include: (1) my mother’s successful ability to provide evidence of her continued survival after bodily death through lucid dreams, physical contact, and a series of remarkable coincidences over the years which have provided comfort her grieving family; (2) my mother’s successful ability to say her “goodbyes” to her children — something she wasn’t able to do in life because of the suddenness of her death — through these ADCs of lucid dreams and a particular synchronicity of the song Moon River; and (3) how these ADCs and numerous synchronicities altogether reveal one beautiful, synchronistic connection itself between my mother and the main character in Truman Capote‘s film Breakfast at Tiffany’s which this article will show was also the inspiration for multitudes of young, liberated housewives and mothers of the revolutionary 60’s to seek the same self-realization. These ADCs are events verifiable through sources such as cable television listings, telephone records, radio program logs, email archives, Internet news articles, website update logs, hospital records, and more importantly, from members of my own family.

1961
The song Moon River became famous by Audrey Hepburn in Truman Capote‘s movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s. A more popular version of Moon River was later made famous by Andy Williams.

Moon River, a beautiful song by Henry Mancini and Johnny Mercer, became famous when was it was originally performed by Audrey Hepburn in the movie adaptation of Truman Capote‘s novella Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Another version of the song was produced by Andy Williams and made into his signature song. The Atlantic Monthly described Moon River as “a love sung to wanderlust.” The song has also been compared to “Somewhere Over The Rainbow,” sung by Judy Garland in the movie “The Wizard of Oz,” as having similar symbolism and themes of loneliness and longing to escape for the “American dream” as characteristic of 20th century America. Breakfast at Tiffany’s is the story of Holly GoLightly, a young woman who leaves her family and four children for a new life in the big city. Her constant desire and dream to escape to a better life is epitomized in the movie when she sits on her apartment’s window ledge while singing the song Moon River which was created specifically for this movie character.

“Moon River”
Music by Henry Mancini, lyrics by Johnny Mercer

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I’m crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you’re going I’m going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There’s such a lot of world to see.
We’re after the same rainbow’s end
– waiting ’round the bend, my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

Listen to Andy Williams sing the song or Henry Mancini orchestrate the song.

Early 1960’s
The song Moon River as sung by Andy Williams became my mother’s favorite song and could be heard frequently on our living room stereo when I was a child.

While I was growing up in the 60’s, the song Moon River could be heard on my Mom’s living room stereo like a soundtrack from my childhood. It was certainly her favorite song; but it was much more. It was a song she identified with and a beautiful expression of the “restless dreamer” side to her personality. When my Mom was very young with four children, I remember her longing to be an airline stewardess. My Mom was always a liberated, free-spirited, woman of the revolutionary 60’s; and like Truman Capote‘s main character Holly GoLightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, my Mom had a real “Moon River” to cross in the future, to see the world, and to find her rainbow’s end.

My beautiful Mother

1970
My young mother left her young husband and four children for a man named Paul remarkably synchronistic with Truman Capote‘s characters in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

In 1970 my Mom fulfilled her Moon River dream of “two drifters off to see the world” in synchronicity with Truman Capote‘s main character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s — a synchronicity so uncanny — it’s as if she was directly influenced by the movie itself and not just the song, although I have no way of verifying this now. My Dad remarried soon afterward and within a few years his children would reunite with their Mom. After traveling throughout the beautiful western U.S. for a number of years, my Mom eventually found her rainbow’s end in Montana where her children would grow up to have their own grandchildren. In the end, my Mom died in 2001 a true western “pioneer” woman, literally with her boots on, as a ranch cook, while elk hunting in the mountains near Yellowstone Park, Montana. My Mom truly lived life to the very fullest; and It was a valuable lesson she taught to her children throughout her life.

Original theatrical release poster by Robert McGinnis

September 26, 1978
I attended a college lecture on this day by Truman Capote, the inspiration of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the inspiration for the song Moon River.

As a sophomore at Montana State University (MSU), I attended a Truman Capote lecture as a special event during “Rush Week” at the university. I chose to attend this lecture because I knew Truman Capote from the movie In Cold Blood. It was also the only entertainment available for the evening. At the time, I wasn’t aware of Truman Capote authoring Breakfast at Tiffany’s or the movie’s connection to the song Moon River. I also remember Truman Capote‘s lecture as not being very good. His voice was unintelligible after years of alcoholism and he eventually had to be led offstage. Many years later, I finally found an article which mentioned the lecture.

September ??, 1978
Days after the Truman Capote lecture on September 26, 1978, I attended a college fraternity party at a hot springs in the vast wilderness area near Yellowstone Park just three miles away from where my mother would die in a car accident 23 years later in 2001

Within days of attending the lecture by Truman Capote in 1978, I attended an fraternity kegger party at the hot springs near Gardiner, Montana as part of the university’s “Rush Week” fraternity festivities. The party was three miles away from where my mother would die in a car accident 23 years later in 2001. My memory of this fraternity party occurring during the same “Rush Week” as the Truman Capote lecture didn’t cross my mind until I had an interesting epiphany in 2017 (described later in this timeline). And when I checked Google Maps in 2017 to see how close the fraternity party in Gardiner, Montana was to the 2001 accident near Yellowstone Park, I was tremendously surprised to discover the fraternity party was roughly three miles away from where my Mom died in a car accident in 2001. Given the fact my Mom and I lived far from both events near Yellowstone Park at those times is really quite remarkable and beyond coincidence.

Map showing Yellowstone Park synchronicity

November 15, 2000
I created a music CD for my mother with her favorite song, Moon River, at the top of the list.

About a year before my Mom’s death, I was burning music CDs on my computer like crazy because I had downloaded a program called Napster allowing me to easily and quickly download music files directly computer-to-computer with others on the Internet. So I asked my Mom what songs she wanted on a music CD, and she of course wanted songs from Andy Williams, her favorite, and others from singers such as Boots Randolph and Burl Ives. I placed Andy Williams’ song Moon River at the top of the CD list because I knew she loved it the most.

November 24, 2001
My mother died in a car accident on this day while hunting with my fraternal twin brother’s family near Yellowstone Park. The accident occurred just three miles away from the fraternity party I attended in 1978 during “Rush Week” festivities when I attended the Truman Capote lecture.

My Mom died in 2001 just three miles away from the 1978 fraternity party I attended out in the wilderness near Yellowstone Park. My twin brother Steve and his wife Sandy sustained severe injuries which left Sandy with a permanent disability. It was probably a miracle that Sandy survived. The accident happened far away from any major town or hospital. Their 14-year-old son, Joshua, who was the only uninjured person in the accident, was able to climb up the embankment to the road they were driving to get help. A car driven by a medical technician with a cell phone just happened to come upon the accident scene minutes later. Because the accident occurred far out in the wilderness, it is a miracle anybody actually happened to drive by so soon — let alone a medical technician with a cell phone. Not only that, the medical technician’s cell phone worked far out of range — a rarity in those days. With one phone call, a helicopter was summoned to the scene which likely saved Sandy’s life because of the severity of her injuries. Had their son Joshua been severely injured or worse, there is no doubt the accident would have been even more tragic. It was my Mom’s time to go to heaven — not anyone else.

November 26, 2001
On this day, just two days after my mother’s death, she appeared to my sister and I in similar lucid ADC visitation dreams on the same night. My mother told me about a message she had yet to give my brother Glenn which I would find out later related to my brother’s memory of the song Moon River.

My sister and I had remarkably similar lucid dreams of our Mom on the same night. I was having a normal dream where I was running toward a closed door. When I opened the door and rushed into the room, to my utter astonishment, there was my mother sitting on a couch looking at me with a serious look on her face. Her head and body was situated toward me in a similar manner as the photo on the left. The moment I saw her, I suddenly realized I was dreaming (a lucid dream) and here was my Mom alive and well interrupting my dream. She was sitting with one leg crossed over the other and was holding her chin with the fingers of her left hand with one of the fingers resting against her chin like the photo on the left. She had her thick glasses on and because she was shifted sideways looking at me, her beautiful eyes appeared larger than usual. It was as though she had been sitting there awhile waiting and expecting me to show up. When I realized she had interrupted my dream, I exclaimed, “Mom, you’re not dead!” To which she replied, “I haven’t told Glenn yet.” At this point, I woke up.

For a few seconds after I woke up, I actually believed she was still physically alive in the world. My lucid dream of her and my brief conversation with her was THAT incredibly real. But then I quickly realized the lucid dream was actually an ADC dream visitation (of which I had read so much about) of my Mom who was still alive — but on the Other Side of life. Before having this lucid dream, I can remember having only two other lucid dreams in my life. So having a lucid dream is rare to my experience which made this ADC visitation dream of my mother even more special. My mother’s reply to my astonishment of her not being dead — and how she hadn’t told Glenn about it yet — I assumed she was also going to appear to Glenn in a similar fashion to show him she was still alive. A few days later, I phoned my sister Debbie and told her about my ADC dream of Mom. We were both pleasantly surprised to learn we had similar lucid dreams of Mom on the same night. Debbie’s reaction when she saw Mom in her lucid dream was exactly the same as mine, “Mom, you’re not dead!” It is the only authentic reaction a person can have when confronted with the so-called “impossible” during a lucid dream — the sudden appearance of a deceased loved one.

November 26, 2001
On the same day as my spontaneous visitation dream of my mother sitting on a couch in a heavenly room, my brother Glenn had a spontaneous childhood memory of my mother sitting on a couch in the living room with him in her arms singing Moon River.

I wasn’t aware of Glenn’s spontaneous memory until December 6, 2003 when he told me about it and I put all the pieces of this “ADC puzzle” together. Glenn also told me how it was on November 26, 2001, just two days after Mom’s death, that this spontaneous memory of Mom singing Moon River to him as a child inspired him to sing Moon River at her memorial on June 22, 2002. Singing the song Moon River at Mom’s memorial was something Glenn told no one he was going to do prior to doing it. And singing Moon River was the catalyst for all the many synchronicities involving Moon River and my Mom to follow. Glenn has an award-winning singing voice and a master’s degree in Drama. Singing the song Moon River to himself out loud was my brother’s way to help cope with his immense grief. His rendition of Moon River to my mother at her memorial service was certainly a beautiful way to memorialize her and I have no doubt my mother was there in spirit to enjoy it.

November 28, 2001
On this day, just two days after my ADC visitation dream of my mother, I phoned my sister Debbie and told her about it. She then told me about a remarkably similar ADC dream of my mother she had on the same night as mine.

I phoned Debbie to tell her about my visitation dream of Mom two days after her death and was surprised to learn Debbie had a similar lucid dream on the same night. She saw Mom in a heavenly waiting room which elicited from her the same reaction, “Mom, you’re not dead!” Later I would realize how Glenn, Debbie and I had been contacted by Mom from heaven on the same day. Glenn’s childhood memory of Mom singing Moon River inspired him to sing Moon River at Mom’s memorial on June 22, 2002.

June 20, 2002
On this day, just days before Glenn would sing Moon River at Mom’s memorial, Debbie spontaneously remembered Moon River as a song she associated with Mom. It was also a song she hadn’t thought of since childhood. Debbie would experience a major synchronicity when my brother Glenn sang Moon River two days later at my Mom’s memorial.

The song Moon River suddenly popped into Debbie’s memory while she was taking a shower. At the time, she could only remember the tune and not the lyrics. When Glenn sang Moon River two days later at the memorial, it was a very significant synchronicity for her — especially hearing the lyrics of Moon River again.

June 22, 2002
My brother sang Moon River in my mother’s memory at her memorial.

At my Mom’s memorial, Glenn sang Moon River beautifully for all to hear – including my mother whom I am sure was there in spirit. Glenn sang the song looking up and away as if singing directly to Mom in heaven which he obviously was. I couldn’t attend my mother’s memorial in Montana because I was in California recovering from bipolar mania and depression. You can read about my transition through grief in another article in this section.

June 27, 2002
I watched my mother’s memorial on videotape on this day and heard my brother sing Moon River.

My Dad made a videotape of my Mom’s memorial and I watched it when he returned on this date. When I saw my brother sing Moon River on videotape, I remember thinking how Glenn couldn’t have picked a better song to sing in our Mom’s memory. He picked Mom’s song. I remembered making a music CD for my Mom with Moon River on it only a year before her death. Hearing Glenn sing Moon River to Mom, I was pleasantly surprised to learn how I was not the only one who identified the song with Mom.

July 1, 2002
On this evening, just days after watching my mother’s memorial and hearing Glenn sing Moon River, I had a spontaneous and powerful hour-long ADC visitation with my mother where I felt her enormous presence.

I was alone in my room late this night grieving over my brother Steve and what he and his family were suffering resulting from the accident. My grief for my brother overcame me and I began to cry, something I do not do very often. While the flood gate of tears started to come down, all of a sudden, like a thunderbolt from heaven hitting my heart, a powerful invisible beam of love and joy struck my chest filling me with ecstasy. I then felt my mother’s presence and tremendous love magnified hundreds of times enter my room. It was as if my mother could no longer stand by in heaven and watch me grieve any longer. To remedy the situation, she brought heaven along with her and filled me with an ecstasy I have never experienced before or since. And because I didn’t get the chance to say “goodbye” to her before she died, I felt this was not only a visit, but also the “goodbye” I couldn’t say to her. For about an hour, I could feel my mother’s heavenly presence surround me and comfort me. I also had a wonderful, healing conversation with her which restored my soul. I have an entire article detailing this ADC.

July 2, 2002
The next morning, only hours after my ADC presence of my mother, I turned the television on and by pure coincidence Truman Capote‘s movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s came on and the song Moon River began to play. I immediately understood this to be a profound ADC synchronicity validating the profound ADC visitation of my mother just hours earlier.

When I got out of bed that morning, I immediately turned the television on as I often do. When I did, I began hearing the song Moon River. I couldn’t believe my ears! It was Henry Mancini’s rendition of Moon River in Truman Capote‘s movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s. It was such an amazing coincidence, any doubt existing in my mind about my Mom’s presence being just a bipolar delusion, was completely removed at this moment. This incredibly improbable coincidence, of randomly turning a television on just in time to hear Moon River play from the beginning, also went far beyond coincidence. Later, I calculated the odds of this happening at random: the odds are over 1 in 6.5 million! But I didn’t need to do the math to know how improbable this was. It was a clear sign from heaven. It was also at this point that I began documenting these Moon River coincidences.

July 21, 2002
My father heard Paul Harvey on the car radio discussing a news item about the real Moon River.

About a month after my Mom’s memorial, my Dad was driving his car and listening to Paul Harvey on the radio. He remembered hearing Paul Harvey talk about how the sign over the real Moon River near Savannah, Georgia, repeatedly kept being stolen. My Dad noted the meaningful coincidence of hearing a news story about Moon River after hearing Glenn sing it at the memorial. He also thought it was unusual for stolen signs to be a newsworthy item on a Paul Harvey show — let alone the Moon River signs. Perhaps other people were also having wonderful connections with the song? Who knows? Anyway, my whole family soon knew about these coincidences as I put them all together and shared it with them. And it turned out to be the blessing I thought it would be. Nevertheless, after this event, no one received a Moon River coincidence afterward for many months and I assumed that was the end of it. Man, was I wrong!

November 5, 2003
I published these ADCs and Moon River coincidences on my website on this day.

About fifteen months passed since the last coincidence, so I assumed it was all over. However, one of the biggest Moon River coincidences was yet to come. But on this date, I published the first draft of these ADCs and Moon River coincidences on my website and then emailed family members so they would be aware of it. This would be the first time many of my greater family members would read about these entire ADC series of events.

November 5, 2003
On the same day, my brother Glenn heard the song Moon River highlighted on the television show “Sex and the City.”

On the same day I published these ADCs and Moon River coincidences on my website, Glenn was watching one of his favorite television programs, “Sex and the City,” and the song Moon River was highlighted on the show. It was a pleasant surprise for him to hear Moon River at the time and it caused him to reflect on Mom. One of the amazing aspects to spontaneously hearing Moon River these days is that the song is so old, it’s a wonder the song is heard at all.

November 6, 2003
The next day, Glenn read my email about the ADCs and Moon River coincidences on my website. Because he heard Moon River play the night before on “Sex and the City,” this was a big Moon River synchronicity for him.

The day after I published the family’s coincidences on my website, and sent an email to the family about it, Glenn read my email and read what I published on my site. This was a big synchronicity for him because of his hearing the song on TV the previous night. It was also around the second anniversary of Mom’s passing on November, 24, 2001 — a time when everyone is remembering Mom the most. After viewing what I published, Glenn emailed me to tell me about his coincidences and wrote, “Now I can’t get Moon River out of my head.”

November 24, 2003
On this day, the second anniversary of my mother’s death, my sister Debbie coincidentally watched Andy Williams sing Moon River on a cable biography of him.

An A&E Biography of Andy Williams was on cable television on the second anniversary of my mother’s death. By mere coincidence, my sister stumbled across the program and watched it. I learned about it the next day when I happened to phone her about a previous Moon River coincidences.

November 25, 2003
The next day I phoned my sister Debbie. To my utter amazement, she told me about hearing Andy Williams singing Moon River on TV the previous day, on the second anniversary of my mother’s death.

On this day, I was working on these articles about Moon River coincidences at the time and I needed more information about a previous Moon River coincidence from Debbie. After getting the information I needed, she told me about watching an Andy Williams biography on TV the night before and heard him sing Moon River. Because I happened to phone her about the subject, this was an enormous coincidence for my sister as it was for me. Andy Williams sang Moon River on TV on the anniversary of my mother’s death! At this point, I realized my mother is reassuring our family once again with “signs from heaven.”

November 25, 2003
On the same day, Steve and his wife Sandy were browsing around in a mall music store when Sandy picked the first CD she saw on the shelf at random. It was a Barbara Streisand CD. Out of curiosity, she looked on the back of the CD and saw the song Moon River listed on it.

About an hour after phoning Debbie, I phoned my brother Steve to tell him about the coincidences recently happening and to see if he had any recent coincidences to share. I thought it unlikely he would also have a Moon River coincidence at this time, given the other amazing coincidences which have already happened. So I was completely flabbergasted to learn they did have one. Only hours before I phoned him, he and Sandy walked into a mall music store and his wife Sandy grabbed the first CD on the shelf at random out of curiosity. It was a Barbara Streisand CD. She looked on the back of the CD and was surprised to see Moon River listed on it.

December 6, 2003
On this date, for the first time I learned what inspired Glenn to sing Moon River at Mom’s memorial. A few days after her death, he remembered an incident in his childhood where he sat on the couch in the living room with my mother singing Moon River.

Ever since my wonderful ADC presence of my Mom and its validation the next morning, I have been documenting these Moon River coincidences without knowing how some of the details fit together. There was only one question I needed to know, and it had to do with what my Mom told me in the lucid dream I had of her two days after her death. When I saw her, I exclaimed, “Mom, you’re not dead!” to which she replied, “I haven’t told Glenn yet.” Ever since I had then, I always wondered how Mom was going to tell Glenn “she wasn’t dead.” I would discover the answer on this date after sending an email to Glenn asking him what inspired him to sing Moon River at Mom’s memorial. And I couldn’t have been more stunned! Here is what he wrote:

“My thinking about ‘Moon River‘ began only a few days after Mom died. Music has always been for me an outlet for emotions. I’ve been attracted lately to rediscover the music of my youth and, when Mom died, a lot of the songs she sang to me and we enjoyed together (largely at the Ivy St. house in Monrovia) flooded back. I actually have a literal memory of Mom singing ‘Moon River‘ when I was a kid. We were sitting on the couch in the living room at 201 N. Ivy and she had her arm around me and we were singing the song together. The song was always the Black Sheep National Anthem to me and I felt then that we both knew something about loneliness. Mom had the sweetest singing voice, beautiful and clear. I loved hearing her sing. The memory has long been a sweet one for me.

“After Mom died, I found myself singing ‘Moon River‘ out loud to myself at work and in the car and everywhere else. It kind of became a way for me to sing to Mom and it helped me feel Mom’s presence during the grieving process.

“During the memorial at Deb’s house, I really wanted to get up and sing ‘Moon River‘. But I was afraid that it would be too sentimental or that people would feel I was being inappropriate for a memorial. I kept thinking, maybe I should sing ‘I Come to the Garden Alone’ or some other religious song. But ‘Moon River‘ kept running through my heart and I knew that’s what I wanted to sing for her. I waited until we were pretty much finished sharing and then thought to myself, this is my last and only chance to do this and I don’t want to regret not singing this song at this moment. So I told everyone I had one more thing to do, and I got up and sang ‘Moon River‘ a capella.

“‘Moon River‘ keeps coming up for me. I finally had to break down and buy an Andy Williams collection to get a copy. There are other Mom songs that come through for me as well: ‘Turn Around,’ ‘Prayer for Bobby,’ and others. But nothing like ‘Moon River.'”

With Glenn’s reply, I finally had the pieces to the puzzle in place! The question I had was finally answered! I knew exactly how and when Mom made Glenn aware she wasn’t dead! And I was astonished to say the least! Debbie and I learned Mom “wasn’t dead” when we had our lucid dreams of her two days after her death. In my dream, Mom was sitting on a couch telling me she, “hasn’t told Glenn yet [that she isn’t dead].” It was Glenn’s remembering this childhood incident of sitting on a couch with Mom singing Moon River, just days after Mom died, which inspired him to sing the song at the memorial. I believe this is why Mom appeared to me sitting on a couch in my dream! She obviously knew I would eventually make this connection. If Glenn had not sung Moon River at the memorial, all the other Moon River coincidences that followed would have gone unnoticed and I would never have thought to ask other family members about any possible coincidences as well! And it was Glenn’s singing of Moon River which made it possible for my Mom’s messages from the Other Side to come through! I was merely the one who put the pieces together! And if I hadn’t fully understood what ADCs were beforehand, none of this would have made any sense! My dream of seeing Mom sitting on a couch, and Glenn’ childhood memory of sitting on a couch with Mom, all in the same time frame, is a clear case of a very rare type of synchronicity — of the mental kind!

At this specific time, I had not yet realized the synchronistic connection between my fraternity’s “Rush Week” activities, which included the Truman Capote lecture, and the fraternity party held just three miles away from the 2001 accident where my Mom died. I wouldn’t realize this amazing synchronicity until 2017 after having phone conversations with my siblings. But even so, at this time I had already had an ADC in 2002 of seeing Truman Capote‘s Breakfast at Tiffany’s and hearing Moon River play on my television the moment I turned it on the morning after my Mom’s ADC presence from heaven. And I suspected there was more to the message behind these Moon River coincidences which also involved its inspiration — Truman Capote‘s Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I sensed that my Mom wanted me to understand the reason why she left her family at such a critical time in our lives. A major ADC synchronicity in October 2018 involving Truman Capote would emphasize this point.

I should also address the synchronicity between Truman Capote and my brother Glenn. I did not tell Glenn until 2009 about my attending a lecture by Truman Capote. It wasn’t until 2009 I learned my brother was a fan of Truman Capote. Later, I discovered the various synchronicities between them. As it was with Truman Capote, my brother Glenn is openly gay and a champion for gay rights. Glenn was born on August 25th, the day Truman Capote died. Truman Capote was raised in Monroeville, AL. Glenn was raised in Monrovia, CA. The phonetic pronunciation of “Mon-Roeville” and “Mon-Rovia” are remarkable similar to “Moon River.” Both Truman Capote and Glenn worked as actors, writers, and playwrights. Both rose above a childhood troubled by divorce. As was the case with Glenn and Truman Capote, their mothers left them at a young age to find a new life which, in Truman Capote‘s and his character Holly GoLightly’s case, was New York City. So because of these synchronistic connections, it is obvious to me how my brother Glenn and Truman Capote belong to the same “higher-level” soul group as defined by Dr. Michael Newton and NDE studies which affirm LGBT people have historically been “the shamans, the healers, the visionaries, the mediators, the peacekeepers,” and “the people who walk between the worlds” and “the keepers of beauty” (Source). These Moon River coincidences concerning my mother would never have occurred if it wasn’t for (1) Truman Capote‘s inspiration of Breakfast at Tiffany’s and its inspiration of the song Moon River, and (2) my brother Glenn’s inspiration for singing Moon River at my mother’s memorial which was the catalyst for all the future Moon River coincidences to follow. There is also a coincidence between my Dad and Andy Williams, the famous singer who made Moon River his signature song. Andy Williams’ real name is Howard Williams, the same name as my Dad.

And when you put all these amazing ADCs and Moon River synchronicities together, the message my Mom gave to my family (but especially me) from heaven is very powerful and clear. There is no doubt in my mind this is exactly the message my mother wanted to give my family, myself, and ultimately my website audience. And the evidence came through loud and clear. My Mom is still alive although physically dead. But on a personal level, I believe these synchronicities also reveal a message my Mom wanted me to fully understand. I believe she needed to convey somehow the reason why she chose to leave the family in 1970 — something she had previously expressed guilty feelings about to me on several occasions — even to the point of having feelings of being a “bad mother.” Of course, I always reassured her this wasn’t the case. And from these ADCs and Moon River synchronicities, I know the reason she, like the restless dreamer Holly GoLightly, needed to fulfill her “Moon River” dreams of “two drifters off to see the world.” The movie adaptation of Truman Capote‘s novella Breakfast at Tiffany’s explains it all — beautifully, lovely, and heavenly. No one in my family has ever blamed my Mom for wanting to seek a new life — and I believe rightly so. My Dad has specifically attributed her strong feelings of restlessness and wanderlust as the reason for the divorce. And my Dad, to his great credit, went out of his way throughout his entire life to ensure no blame was given. My reply to my Mom on this matter has always been the same. If she had not divorced my Dad, none of the great blessings of her own children’s family and their children in Montana would ever have happened either. In other words, it was meant to happen — according to The Powers That Be.

December 9, 2003
On this date, I finally discovered the Moon River news article my father heard about last year on his car radio by Paul Harvey.

I searched for this article without success for a long time; but on this day I finally found it. About a month after the memorial, my Dad heard Paul Harvey on the car radio talking about how the signs over the real Moon River were stolen. Since then, I have made many attempts to find this news article without success. But after spending hours on this day searching the Internet, I finally found it. It validates the news story about Moon River my Dad heard on the car radio.

February – April, 2005
A copy editor volunteered to create a manuscript from my family’s ADCs and “Moon River coincidences” for my next book. It resulted in her personally experiencing numerous profound Moon River coincidences.

During this time period, a volunteer copyeditor (Valerie Padley) began working on a manuscript for my new book “Nothing Wonderful Than Heaven,” about my family’s ADCs and Moon River coincidences, a follow-up book to my first book, “Nothing Better Than Death.” While working on this project, she reported to me how she experienced remarkable Moon River coincidences of the kind occurring to my family.

On February 12, 2005, Val emailed to me about how she rented a movie entitled “Shall We Dance?” about a guy (Richard Gere) who decides to take ballroom dancing lessons. At the end of his first lesson in the movie, Val was surprised when she watched two people dancing to Moon River. She didn’t know the song was in the movie when she rented it.

On February 19, 2005, Val emailed me about another Moon River coincidence while she was watching a commercial for Time-Life’s music collection of the “150 Most Romantic Songs of All Time” and heard Andy Williams singing Moon River.

On February 20, 2005, Val emailed me about another coincidence. Val was going to visit me and a friend in Sacramento and used Google search to find a good Bed & Breakfast in Sacramento. When she Googled “Sacramento B&Bs” she noticed the third result on the search results page was “Moon River Inn at Freeport, Sacramento, CA.”

On February 21, 2005, Val emailed me about how she worked on my manuscript all day, then stopped to watch American Idol on TV. One of the contestants sang Moon River. She told me how she came to the realization of these Moon River coincidences becoming much more meaningful because of them occurring whenever she works on the manuscript. Val remarked to me, “I feel like your Mom is trying to tell me something.” I would also add how Val’s coincidences are occurring synchronistically around the time of my Mother’s birthday as well. The next day, Val emailed me these words, “I decided that I could in good conscience give my Official Synchronicity Stamp to these events! And I agree with you, the way they’re occurring does seem to be a thumbs-up of some sort, whether from your Mom, God, the universe, the Force, etc. Basically the message I’m getting is, KEEP GOING.”

On February 26, 2005, I emailed Val about a spontaneous phone call from my twin brother, Steve, whom I talked to on this day about the coincidences currently happening. He informed me how he was also pleasantly surprised to see the February 21st episode of the TV show American Idol when one of the contestants sang Moon River. Val emailed back to me, “I can hear the Twilight Zone jingle now. Ha.”

On April 10, 2005, Val emailed me about receiving two Moon River coincidences within hours of each other. She wrote:

“Kevin, what’s up? I got two Moon River ‘hits’ today, which got my attention since they both happened within hours of each other. First I was at my sister-in-law’s helping her pack up for a move. Cleaning out the garage closet I found a big framed poster of Audrey Hepburn in a scene from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I didn’t think of it as synchronous til later at home when I turned on the TV and the news magazine Dateline was starting. They were doing a story on some couple who had been in love, and they used Moon River (the version with the harmonica and violins) as the background music. Of course, I’m not working on your manuscript at the moment, but the coincidence prompted me to check in. Hope you are well. I’ve still got my editing hat on, whenever you’re ready to proceed.”

April is the month of my deceased mother’s birthday, so I was pleasantly surprised by Valerie’s Moon River coincidences. But my attention at the time was turning more towards updating my website and less toward publishing another book. So my email correspondence with Valerie and my desire to publish another book eventually faded away for a time. Little did I know there would be a good reason for doing so in the future because there would be more Moon River coincidences from my Father this time.

July 28-29, 2009
As my father was in a coma and dying from complications related to lymphoma, he experienced a phenomenon called “terminal lucidity.”

At the hospital, I was saying my “last goodbye” to my dying father who was in a coma. I put my hand over his heart, and with all my love, and with all my happiness of knowing he was going to heaven, and all the sadness of seeing him go, I said to him, “I love you, Big Guy!” When I said this, my Dad came out of his coma, opened his eyes, and gave me a big smile similar to the photo on the left for a few moments before slipping back permanently into his coma. I recognized right away the phenomenon known as terminal lucidity — when a cognitively impaired person in a coma suddenly becomes clearheaded as death approaches. Judging from my Dad’s beautiful face, I could see he was extremely happy. From his beautiful smile, I could only conclude he had caught a glimpse of something extremely beautiful on the Other Side which he wanted to express to me. Hours before his terminal lucidity, I led a family prayer over my Dad for the Light to guide him through his transition. I knew from NDE literature that such group prayer shines a bright light from heaven upon the one being prayed over. When my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, he and I eventually got around to discussing how he would provide me evidence of his continuing survival after death. The joke was that he would haunt my dreams like a ghost until proof was provided. Although I would have an ADC visitation dream of my Dad months later, my father’s terminal lucidity on this date sent a strong message to me about his confidence in facing death and in the possibility of him receiving a glimpse of the Other Side. I also knew at the time of his terminal lucidity that this was how I was going to remember the last moments of my Dad.

October 15, 2009
My father appeared to me in an ADC visitation dream months after his death and just three days before his birthday.

Months after my Dad’s death, and just days before his birthday (October 18th), I was having a normal dream where someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind. I turned around and there was my Dad standing there with the same huge smile on his face as I remembered during his terminal lucidity. The moment I saw my Dad, my normal dream immediately became lucid, and I suddenly realized my deceased Dad was interrupting my dream. My reaction to seeing my Dad in my lucid dream reflected this realization when I said him, “What are you, like Jesus or something?” My reaction was identical to someone who had just witnessed Jesus rise from the dead — only it was my Dad. After expressing my reaction to seeing my Dad alive in my dream, I immediately woke up knowing he had just contacted me from the Other Side. Ever since then, my Dad appears regularly in my dreams — but no more lucid dreams.

July 29, 2010
This is the first anniversary of my father’s death and transition to heaven.

On this date, Dad’s first anniversary of his transition to heaven, I sent out an email to everyone commemorating the date and I included photos of Dad which I had made Internet-ready.

August 1, 2010
A few days later, on this evening while watching TV, I stumbled across the beginning of the show “The Andy Williams Moon River and Me Show.”

A few days after my Dad’s anniversary in heaven, I was thinking of him and still grieving over losing him. On this evening I was watching one of my favorite TV paranormal documentaries called “My Ghost Story.” It was Episode 5 about a woman who had an ADC visitation of her deceased mother. The show got me to thinking about my own ADCs and Moon River coincidences. I wondered if seeing this ADC on TV had any “Moon River” significance. I shrugged it off. When the “My Ghost Story” show was over, I switched to the next channel which happened to be PBS. Lo and behold, it was the beginning of “The Andy Williams Moon River and Me Show.” I was stupefied to say the least. This was no mere coincidence! This was a mental synchronicity! And it was complete heaven hearing Andy Williams croon Moon River again! Now I couldn’t help but believe this Moon River coincidence had special significance to the first anniversary of my Dad’s passing. It was as if heaven orchestrated it as a validation of my Dad’s continued connection with me. No doubt in my mind. By the way, Andy Williams’ real name is Howard Williams, the same as my Dad.

August 3, 2010
On this evening while watching TV, I heard Moon River played by Henry Mancini from the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s on an infomercial for Time-Life’s “Golden Age of Pop.”

In the evening, I was watching a Time-Life “oldies” infomercial on TV while working on my computer. I love watching these Time-Life “oldies” infomercials whenever they come on because I am a big fan of oldies music. This particular “oldies” infomercial was hosted by Pat Boone for Time-Life’s “Golden Age of Pop.” The infomercial included 1950’s oldies such as Nat King Cole’s “Mona Lisa”, Debbie Reynolds “Tammy”, and Johnny Mathis “The Twelfth of Never.” Then without expecting the show, they played a clip from Henry Mancini’s 1961 instrumental version of Moon River from the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote. Once again, I was “blown away” and amazed by another Moon River coincidence.

August 4, 2010
I received an email from my step-mother Marilee Williams telling me how she also stumbled across “The Andy Williams Moon River and Me Show” on TV on August 1st.

By coincidence, my step-mother Marilee also saw “The Andy Williams Moon River and Me Show” on PBS on the same night as I did. She emailed me, “I also was turning the TV channels and there was Andy Williams singing Moon River on PBS. I listened to him for awhile and then went to bed.” I believe this is significant as an ADC for Marilee because she was married to my Dad and this was her first ever “Moon River” coincidence. Considering the other coincidences occurring around my father’s death anniversary, it makes perfect sense for her to receive a “sign from heaven” at this time as well. After my Mom left my family in 1970, my Dad met Marilee and married her. In many ways, Marilee rescued my Dad and my family at that time. I know my mother was grateful for Marilee and they became friends over the years.

August 7, 2010
On this evening while watching TV, I stumbled across repeats of “The Andy Williams Moon River and Me Show” and an A&E Biography of Truman Capote.

I was working on my computer and watching TV when I stumbled across a repeat of “The Andy Williams Moon River and Me Show” on PBS. Later that night on PBS, I stumbled upon an A&E Biography of Truman Capote, the author of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the movie which made Moon River famous.

August 8, 2010
The A&E Biography of Truman Capote repeated on this date.

After the series of Moon River related TV shows appearing on TV recently, I had to check the TV listings to see if there were any more on this date. I noticed the A&E Biography of Truman Capote repeated this evening.

August 9, 2010
The actress Patricia Neal, from the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote, died on this day.

I learned on this day through the TV news that the actress Patricia Neal died on this date. In Truman Capote‘s movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Patricia Neal played the wealthy matron Emily Failenson who supports a young writer played by George Peppard who falls in love with the lead character played by Audrey Hepburn. This appears to be the end of a series of Moon River coincidences occurring around the first anniversary of my father’s death. From my perspective, there is no doubt in my mind these are ADCs signifying a “Hello from Heaven” from my Dad to help us through our tremendous grief over losing the patriarch of our family.

July 29, 2011
This is the second anniversary of my Dad’s transition to heaven.

On this date, the second death anniversary of my Dad’s passing, I emailed my family to commemorate the event and embedded photos of my Dad in the email for all to enjoy.

July 30, 2011
The next day, while searching the Internet for more information about a TV show I was watching, I stumbled across an article about “The Moon River Brewing Company.”

The next day after the second anniversary of my father’s passing, I was watching one of my favorite paranormal TV documentary series called “Ghost Adventures” where paranormal investigators go to locations that are reported to be haunted. While I was watching the show, I decided to search the Internet for “Ghost Adventures” to read more about the show. Near the top of the Google search results was a Wikipedia’s article on Ghost Adventures which I clicked on to read. Near the top of the article, I became very pleasantly surprised when I read the following:

“So far, the investigators believe to have experienced and filmed three apparent possessions. [The first investigator] believes that he was possessed twice: first at the Preston School of Industry and second at Poveglia. [The second investigator], who admitted that he had never believed in possessions, now claims that he was possessed once at the Moon River Brewing Company…”

When I read these words, I could have been knocked over by a feather! Then I clicked on the link to the Moon River Brewing Company, I checked out their About Page which states the following: “In 2003, the American Institute of Paranormal Psychology named Savannah [Georgia] the most haunted city in America. And what’s widely regarded as the most haunted place in Savannah? You guessed it! But don’t take our word for it…” Further down this article you can watch several online videos of the “Ghost Adventures” episode at the Moon River Brewery.

October 16, 2011
On this morning, two days before my deceased father’s birthday, I experienced an ADC of hearing his voice speaking clearly in my ear.

Two days before my Dad’s birthday, I was waking up and was in that shadow area between wakefulness and sleep called hypnagogia. I heard my Dad’s voice say very close to my ear in his normal voice, “Are you a smoker?” I had recently been given a California medical cannabis card and had just started smoking a little medical cannabis to help ease my bipolar symptoms. Throughout his life, my Dad was strongly against smoking pot in my family. But now that my Dad was in heaven, I felt more free to act in ways I knew he would disapprove if he were presently alive. So when I heard my Dad’s clear judgmental voice of displeasure at my smoking pot, my realization after the immediate surprise of the ADC was, “Gee, Dad hasn’t changed at all!” I had hoped the Other Side would have mellowed my Dad about sacred plants such as cannabis having shamanistic qualities.

October 18, 2011
On my father’s birthday, I stumbled across a relevant article about Truman Capote‘s main character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Holly GoLightly, Moon River, and the 60’s sexual revolutions.

On this morning of my Dad’s birthday, I stumbled across an interesting and highly relevant article about Holly GoLightly, Truman Capote‘s main character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Moon River, contributed the 1960’s sexual revolution. The article perfectly encapsulates the “restless dreamer” personality of both Holly GoLightly and my Mom. The article makes a good case of how numerous women throughout the 1960’s have lived vicariously through Truman Capote‘s character Holly.

October 19, 2011
My step-mother Marilee told me she heard the song Moon River played on a TV show the previous night on my father’s birthday.

I phoned Marilee and told her about the Moon River coincidence the previous day on Dad’s birthday. I was pleasantly surprised when she said told me how, on the same evening, she watched “Dancing With The Stars” and watched Nancy Grace dance to Moon River. This was the last Moon River coincidence for many years and I thought that was the end of it.

April 20, 2017
I received a tremendous epiphany on this date about an event I experienced in 1978 near Yellowstone Park as part of a special week of university festivities which included the Truman Capote lecture. But even more amazing, I discovered the fraternity party was just three miles away from the 2001 accident where my mother died.

It was just a week away from my mother’s birthday on April 27. I phoned my long-distance siblings, Debbie, Steve, and Glenn, as I do usually after a very long period of time as we usually communicate through Facebook. After talking with my siblings, I spent some time thinking about them and about growing up in Montana. While I was doing this, I spontaneously received an amazing epiphany. While I was thinking of my college days in Montana, I remembered the college fraternity party I attended in 1978 near Yellowstone Park. I hadn’t thought much about that fraternity party over the years, but as I thought about it, I realized it occurred at the same time I attended the Truman Capote lecture. And because the 1978 fraternity party occurred near Yellowstone Park, the same area where my mother died in an accident in 2001, I wondered how close the fraternity party was to the car accident. The area around Yellowstone Park is a vast, mountainous wilderness, so I went to Google Maps to discover the distance in miles between the location of the fraternity party and the location of the 2001 accident. I was astonished to learn the 1978 fraternity party at the Gardiner Hot Springs is only three miles away from the 2001 accident. It was an amazing surprise! The fact that I attended a lecture by Truman Capote, the inspiration of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the inspiration of Moon River, and then in a matter of days, attended a party just three miles from where my mother would die in an accident 23 years later, with all her connections to Moon River, is just beyond coincidence and synchronicity. Because this amazing epiphany occurred spontaneously after contacting my siblings, and the memory of the fraternity party and its “Moon River” ramifications were not fully registered in my conscious mind until this time, I believed then, and I believe now, this epiphany was an ADC directly from my mother. It was as if my memory of the fraternity party was suppressed somehow until now — a time when I could put all the pieces of my family’s ADC puzzle together. Either that, or the Other Side couldn’t wait any longer for me to figure it all out, so they decided to “jog” my memory and create this epiphany in my mind.

October 1, 2018
On this evening I participated in the first meeting of the Sacramento IANDS Group where I spoke about my book and how the ADCs related to my mother provided evidence of her continuing survival. A local news station covered the event which I watched on TV later that evening. Minutes later, a news story about Truman Capote appeared.

Just weeks before my Dad’s birthday (October 18), I participated in the opening of the first local chapter of IANDS in Sacramento, CA, led by Michelle Kuret. I knew I would probably speak about my book, “Nothing Better Than Death,” so I prepared all day to give a short talk about it. I also prepared to speak about the ADCs and Moon River coincidences which began while I was in the middle of writing the book. So all day I prepared — not to give a short talk — but to give a two-hour talk in case of an emergency situation should our guest NDE speaker not be able to appear at the meeting. So all day I was going over and over my “talking points” involving my family, Moon River, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Truman Capote, and the timeline from the 1960’s to April 2017.

Because of our press release campaign, the local ABC TV News showed up and filmed a news report about our event which would appear on TV later that night at 11 pm. After having a fantastic meeting, where I was able to talk for several minutes about my book and my family’s ADCs, I watched the 11 pm local Sacramento ABC News report about our event (click on the image above to view the video). I had absolutely no idea what to expect to see in the news report because I was nowhere near the ABC news cameras when they were filming. So when I saw the ABC news report display on TV the cover of my book, “Nothing Better Than Death,” I couldn’t believe my eyes! Not only that, they turned my book over to display the back cover of my book which included a big photo of me! Again, I couldn’t believe it!

What could be more thrilling than seeing your book and yourself on TV? I would find out only minutes later. I was ignoring the news stories following the ABC news report about our meeting because I was on “Cloud 9” thinking about the free TV publicity I just saw concerning my book and myself. But, suddenly, my focus quickly turned again to the TV when I heard the TV news anchor mention “Truman Capote.” What? Just minutes after the ABC news report aired on TV about our new Sacramento IANDS meeting, a news report came on TV about the Supreme Court Kavanaugh hearings and something about Truman Capote. I later discovered this October 1st article about the news report I heard on TV. It was about a staff writer for the New York Times Magazine, who was also a Truman Capote fellow for creative writing, and how she discovered the story about Kavanaugh throwing ice in a bar during the 1980’s. Now given the fact that I had Moon River, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and Truman Capote on my mind all day on this day in connection with my family’s ADCs, hearing Truman Capote mentioned on TV only minutes away from seeing my book and myself on TV is one of the most profound “Moon River coincidences” I have ever experienced. And it makes sense that I would have another such ADC at this time. Not only is October 1st the first time I spoke about my family’s ADCs in a live public setting, but October is also the month of my deceased father’s birthday (October 18). So this particular ADC had a strong impact upon me. It has renewed my desire to publish another book detailing my family’s ADCs.

Categories
Psychology Synchronicity and ADCs

An Introduction to After-Death Communications and Synchronicity

Have you ever been contacted by a loved one in a dream shortly after they died? Or have you ever heard their voice, or sensed their presence, or experienced a “sign” in the form of a remarkable coincidence soon after a loved one dies. Tens of millions of Americans have. Such after-death communications (ADCs) are defined as: “spiritual experiences which occur when a person is contacted directly and spontaneously by a family member or friend who has died, without the use of psychics, mediums, rituals, or devices of any kind.” During their seven years of research, Bill and Judy Guggenheim (www.after-death.com) collected more than 3,300 firsthand reports from people who believe they have been contacted by a deceased loved one. On the Guggenheim’s website they state how it’s estimated that 60-120 million Americans, 20-40% of the population of the United States, have had one or more ADC experiences. Therefore, ADCs provide convincing new evidence for life after death. Their book, Hello From Heaven, is among the very best books this webmaster, Kevin Williams, has ever read in his life. The Guggenheim’s groundbreaking study and book documents a plethora of such ADC experiences and categorizes them by types. The following excerpts are reprinted by permission from their wonderful book revealing some of these amazing after-death communications.

Table of Contents

  1. The Most Frequent Types of After-Death Communications
  2. Symbolic After-Death Communications Involving Synchronicity
  3. The Most Frequent Messages Expressed By Departed Loved Ones
  4. Examples of Various Types of After-Death Communications

1. The Most Frequent Types of After-Death Communications

Based upon Bill and Judy Guggenheim’s groundbreaking after-death communication research, the following list contains the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones. Combinations of these twelve types of contact are also reported.

Types of After-Death Communications

  1. Sensing their presence
  2. Hearing their voice
  3. Feeling their touch
  4. Smelling their fragrance
  5. Seeing their apparition
  6. Seeing a flat vision of them like a photo
  7. Experiencing one of these types while half-asleep
  8. Having a visitation dream
  9. Having an out-of-body experience and meeting them
  10. Receiving a telephone call in a dream involving lucid two-way conversations
  11. Experiencing physical activity such as lights, TVs, and radios going on and off
  12. Receiving a symbolic message, sign, meaningful coincidence, or synchronicity

The #12 type of ADC of receiving a symbolic message or “sign from heaven” in the form of a meaningful coincidence or synchronicity is a relatively common type of ADC which the Guggenheim’s refer to as “symbolic ADCs.” Many people report receiving a special sign coincidental to some time related to a deceased loved one thereby affirming their loved one has survived physical death and continues to live in another dimension of existence. The types of symbols involved in such symbolic ADCs include butterflies, rainbows, flowers, different species of birds and animals, and any number of inanimate objects such as a song, for example, which is a favorite song of a recently deceased loved one which is heard coincidentally at some special time after that loved one’s death. According to the Guggenheim study, whether the sign comes immediately after the loved one’s death, or takes days ,or weeks, or years, most people intuitively recognize their sign right away and feel it was intended just for them. Some people report they were sent a sign spontaneously as a gift, while others ask or pray to receive one. Depending on their belief system, they may ask their deceased loved one to give them a sign, or they may pray to God or the “universe” for one. Symbolic ADCs provide much hope to those who are grieving deeply, especially bereaved parents and the widowed. But because they are a symbolic form of communication, the receiver must interpret his or her own experience and assign personal meaning to it (Guggenheims, 1997). Because I had read the Guggenheim’s book, Hello From Heaven, about ADCs before I began receiving ADCs of my own, I was able to recognize what was happening and began documenting what was happening.

2. Symbolic After-Death Communications Involving Synchronicity

Synchronicity or “meaningful coincidence” is a concept first introduced by the famous psychologist Carl Jung whose near-death experience (NDE) is profiled on this website. Jung identified events to be a “synchronicity” if they occur with the following characteristics: (1) the events occur simultaneously, (2) the events are meaningfully related, and (3) the events are not connected by cause. Following discussions with the his friends, the great physicists Albert Einstein and Wolfgang Pauli, Jung believed there were parallels between synchronicity and aspects of relativity theory and quantum mechanics. In 1952 Jung published a paper “Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle” in a volume which also contained a related study by Wolfgang Pauli. Jung’s belief was that, just as events may be connected by causality, they may also be connected by meaning.

Jung used the concept of synchronicity in arguing for the existence of the paranormal. Synchronicity is a principle which Jung believed gave conclusive evidence for his concepts of universal archetypes and the collective unconscious. Synchronicity describes a deeper governing order which underlies the whole of human experience and history — social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. Jung believed life was not a series of random events but rather an expression of this deeper, underlying governing order which he and Wolfgang Pauli referred to as Unus mundus (Latin for “one world”). Jung believed the self-realization of being embedded in this universal wholeness was more than just an intellectual exercise, but also had elements of a spiritual awakening such as a person might have after experiencing a synchronicity associated with an ADC. Jung also believed synchronicity served a role similar to dreams with the purpose of shifting a person’s egocentric conscious thinking to greater wholeness.

3. The Most Frequent Messages Expressed By Departed Loved Ones

According to the Guggenheim’s research, the purpose of such contact is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to surviving family and friends. They want us to know they’re still alive and that we’ll be reunited with them when our time comes. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, are:

Most Frequent Messages

I’m okay. Don’t grieve for me.
I’m fine. Please let me go.
Everything is okay. I’m happy.
I love you. I’ll see you again.
Everything will be all right. Go on with your life.
I’m watching over you. Please forgive.
I’ll always be there for you. Thank you.
Don’t worry about me. Goodbye

4. Examples of Various Types of After-Death Communications

In the ground-breaking book entitled Hello From Heaven, the authors Bill and Judy Guggenheim (former NDE researchers), describe how they collected more than 3,300 firsthand reports from people who believe they were contacted by a loved one from the Other Side. In doing so, they founded a new field of research on after-death communications. I read this book many years ago, and since then, I have been recommending the book to people who would email me about the loss of a loved one. Had I not read this book, I wouldn’t have recognized my own family’s after-death communications that occurred. You can read examples of some of the more unusual ADCs from this excellent book. To better understand what ADCs are all about, the following are brief summaries of four actual examples:

Four Examples of After-Death Communications

Example 1: Receiving a Sign From Heaven

A woman’s 12-year old daughter was killed after being hit by a car while riding her bicycle. The grief-stricken mother prayed to God to allow her daughter to give her a sign that she is okay. She prayed this prayer all day and nothing happened. That night she had to attend a meeting at church. As she backed out of the driveway, she happened to glance down and saw a pencil on the side of the road. Something told her to pick it up and she did. When she looked at the pencil, she was surprised to see that it had written on it, “I’m okay.” She had no doubt that this was the sign she prayed for. (p. 224, Bill Guggenheim’s book, Hello From Heaven)

Example 2: Sensing Their Presence

A woman did not get along well with her mother and when her mother died, she was saddened about their sour relationship. Sometime after the funeral, the woman was laying in bed grieving when all of a sudden she strongly sensed her mother in the room. At first, she thought she was hallucinating. The women sensed her mother’s arms around her and comforted her for about 15 minutes. She knew it was her mother comforting her and helping her through her pain. (p. 57, Bill Guggenheim’s book, Hello From Heaven)

Example 3: Hearing Their Favorite Song

A woman lost a close friend. A week later at a Christmas party, she put a Christmas CD on the stereo. But the song she wanted to hear on the CD which helped her with her grief wouldn’t play. She became aggravated and turned on the radio instead. Immediately, the song “Wherever You Will Go” came on the radio – a song she identified with her deceased friend. She already had several such experiences with this song since her friend died. Immediately after that song was over, the song that wouldn’t play on her Christmas CD came on the radio! She couldn’t believe it! She began to cry because she knew that it was her friend giving her another sign from heaven that he is still around. (from Bill Guggenheim’s website)

Example 4: Seeing Their Apparition

Rosalyn is a chemical dependency counselor in Washington who had an apparition ADC. When she was seven years old, her alcoholic uncle sexually abused her for two years which was very traumatic for her. By the time she was seventeen, she was an alcoholic herself, and later became a heavy drug user. She eventually sobered up, but in order to stay sober, she had to go back through her past and deal with the people, places, and things that had harmed her. Besides her need to deal with her sexual abuse, she also wanted to make peace with her uncle. She chose to believe that if her uncle had been sober he wouldn’t have abused her. So she wrote her uncle a letter and told him how she felt and told him that she held nothing against him. However, she never learned whether or not he received it. As a Christian, she would pray that her love would cover her uncle’s sin. Then one day, she awoke from sleep and turned over. To her amazement, she saw Jesus and her uncle next to her bed. She could only see their heads and shoulders. There was also a light behind both of them. There was an overwhelming presence of love but also a seriousness. Jesus asked her a question that she heard in her mind. There was an authority and power in his voice, yet a gentleness as well. Jesus asked her, “Do you hold anything against this man?” She told him, “No, I don’t.” Then Jesus turned and looked at her uncle and said, “Neither do I hold anything against him.” Rosalyn knew then that her uncle was at peace and with Jesus. A couple of days later, she received a letter from her mother telling her that Uncle Mickey had died. (p. 371, Bill Guggenheim’s book, Hello From Heaven)